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January 11, 2018

BABY IT'S COLD OUTSIDE

Hospitals Across Maine Report Epidemic of Chipped Nipples

(Thanks to Mike Meyer, who says he saw them open for The Band)

THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING

Woman returns Christmas tree in January 'because it's dead' - and store bizarrely gives her full refund

(Thanks to funny man)

WE'RE THINKING ALIEN SQUIRRELS

What's sending mysterious repeating fast radio bursts in space?

(Thanks to Steve K., who says "I'm thinking Hendrix, Janet, Bonham, Entwhistle...")

NIGHTS ARE LONG UP THERE

Health Canada warning reminds public not to eat laundry pods

(Thanks to The Amazing Steve, who says: "I saw Canadian Pod Warnings open for Blue Oyster Cult in the 70s.  They put on a clean show.")

NOT TO MENTION HOW BADLY THEY DRIVE

Avoid Monkeys in Florida Because They Could Give You Killer Herpes

(Thanks to Rick Day, Andy Haraldson and Andrew Mendez)

'PEEING ON THIS AD MAY CHANGE YOUR LIFE'

Ikea magazine ad doubles as pee-based pregnancy test

(Thanks to Ralph, Jon Harris, funny man and PirateBoy)

GUYS IN ACTION

A man in Spain who was declared dead by three doctors was actually still alive, which doctors discovered only when he began snoring on the autopsy table, according to news reports.

(Thanks to The Perts, Le Petomane, Al Barkafski and Michael Parry)

HE ALSO HAD 11 ITEMS IN THE EXPRESS LANE

Rolling in the aisles: Russian man smashes stolen tank into supermarket

(Thanks to William Price and James Flynn)

 
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