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December 07, 2017

JUST ONE OF THEM?

One of my books is banned from Texas prisons, according to the New York Times. The Texas corrections department says it contains "criminal schemes."

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".. unless they're worried that the inmates would overpower the guards using fart jokes," Mr. Barry said in an email.

Bravo, Dave!

No Charlie Brown Christmas, either, eh? I'm just .. wow.

Do I sense a new book coming? Dave Barry Does Time

After I read " Dave Barry Does Japan ", I broke out of Sing Sing.

I know Dave's books make me do naughty things.

"Hand over all the money!"

"Do what he says! He's got a toaster and a strawberry Pop Tart!"

I would venture the real reason both Dave Barry and Carl Hiaasen have books banned by the Texas prisons is out of concern for the inmates. If any inmates actually tried any of their "criminal schemes," they would only hurt themselves.

Was it the BOOK OF BAD SONGS?

Those Neil Diamond fans have a lot of influence.

Dave wrote a book?

Let us remind the state of Texas their criminals are becoming a lot like the average CA ones, free to go. If you randomly murder say Kate Steinle, but were not seen accurately pointing the gun at her, all charges are dropped. Being an illegal alien who has been jailed and deported numerous times also heavily contributes to your accuracy and innocence. But if you had groped Steinle instead of killing her, you would be in jail today.

Don't worry Dave. Now they'll want to find a way to get the book, and they WILL find a away because, as we all know, when books are outlawed, only outlaws will have books.

Just in time to add the title to my wish list...

Maybe the book should be added to the American Library Association Banned Book List — a great source for getting copies out the door

"Hey, meng, next drone over the wall send 20 bags heroin, 200 cigs, 10 of those little gin bottles and a Dave Barry book. No kidding, it's worth more than all the other stuff".

You really couldn't ask for a better marketing strategy.

I assume that you saw that the Texas list puts your book in the same category as the 1908 Sears Catalog. That’s either a great honor or brutal condemnation - depending on how you choose to interpret it.

The Texas Corrections Department can read? And they read one of your books?! Naaw. The must of found out from an informant.

No one heard at all, not even the chair.

What kind of cake do you bake to hide a book? Maybe it could be stuck inside a haggis. No one would check one of those.

Better than bubba having it between his butt cheeks.

I actually used Dave's fart jokes to break out of prison in Chili. And I can not even speak Spanish. Guess the facial expressions did the trick. Never thought to thank Dave.

I'm impressed that Dave was able to get the NY Times to print the word "fart".

Dave Barry Looks at 40 Years?

I thought maybe they had banned the 1908 Sears Catalog because of the bra and panty section.

Well, there is this man on page 602…

http://hoaxes.org/weblog/comments/the_man_on_page_602

God knows Texas does not want to give prisoners ideas. Or keep them entertained.

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