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November 18, 2017

NO WORD ON CONDIMENTS

Grandpa's final wish granted: Bury me with Pat's cheesesteaks

(Thanks to Al Barkafski, The Perts and Le Petomane)

WE'RE MULTITASKTERS

Americans Are Watching Netflix at Work and in the Bathroom

(Thanks to Art Kraus and Alkali Bill)

SEND HIM TO THE STATE LEGISLATURE

Naked burglar bursts into Florida woman’s home, tries on her clothes, rolls around in yard

(Thanks to Rick Day)

VETERAN MOVE

Florida man throws girlfriend’s shoe out of his truck to stop her from strangling him, police say

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

SO HOW WAS YOUR DAY?

NJ Woman Stuck for 3 Hours Inside Septic Tank Rescued

(Thanks to Chris Elzi, Al Barkafski and Rob Simbeck)

IN THAILAND, WHICH IS SOMEWHERE AROUND AUSTRALIA

Snake catchers pull 20-foot python out of family's toilet

(Thanks to Ralph)

'I CAN TELL THAT IT'S NOT LOADED'

Two hurt in accidental shooting at East Tenn. church during discussion on church shootings

(Thanks to Rick Day, Patty Villanova and Not My Usual Alias) 

GUYS IN ACTION

Early Thursday morning at an Olympia, Washington, parking lot, a man perched above a ravine began to defecate. An unfortunate slip midway through, and he found himself in an uncontrolled descent.

(Thanks to Craig Roberts, B'game and Judy B)

November 17, 2017

NAVY PILOT GUYS IN ACTION

Navy admits to being involved in obscene skydrawings spotted in Okanogan Co.

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)

IN FLATHEAD COUNTY, TENSION CONTINUES TO MOUNT

7:41 p.m. A concerned citizen called the cops to inform them of some drama on a local Facebook group.

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)

USUALLY THIS WORKS

Longhorn who allegedly said 'I’m a UT student! You can’t arrest me!' is arrested

(Thanks to Stan Ruth)

ONE BY ONE, WE ARE LOSING OUR BASIC CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS

Angry ‘McDonald’s nuggets’ man charged with drink driving after ordering 200 hash browns

(Thanks to DaninDallas and Fabian Marson)

THERE ARE DOZENS OF PERFECTLY INNOCENT EXPLANATIONS

Man gets eel stuck up his anus but won’t tell doctors how it got there

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

November 16, 2017

OTHER THAN THAT IT WAS A LOVELY AFFAIR

Police are investigating after a man was stabbed four times by his brother while attending a funeral.

(Thanks to Chris Elzi)

DEPENDS STOCK SOARING

Experts warn we are not ready for the boom in urinary issues as global population ages

(Thanks to Michael Moyer)

WAIT... SHE WORKED THERE IN A PINK NIGHTGOWN?

Chicago woman accused of robbing bank where she used to work in pink nightgown

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

ALSO REALLY FURIOUS

Employees catch couple having sex 'really fast' at Texas movie theater

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

ALWAYS A SOLID LEGAL TACTIC

Driver lands in jail after challenging cop who was writing him a ticket to a fight

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

FLORIDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

‘He could have blown up the block’: Fla. police discover booby-trapped SpongeBob lunchbox

(Thanks to Rob Simbeck)

TENSION MOUNTS IN FLATHEAD COUNTY

3:02 p.m. A Kalispell woman was talking to her daughter about safety and was showing her the number for 911. As part of her demonstration, she accidentally called 911.

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)

IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR

Man, 62, is arrested after wandering around a Michigan gas station covered in blood he claimed was Santa's and holding a lump of meat

(Thanks to Geoff, who says "Oh ya better watch out....")

AS OPPOSED TO RESEARCHERS

Guppy fish have personalities, say researchers

(Thanks to Nelson from Michigan)

RIGHT AWAY, SIR

Man calls 911 during police chase, asks for Donald Trump

You know the state.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

'I'M HERE,' HE ANNOUNCED

DUI lawyer is busted for drugs after barging into stranger’s home in high heels, no pants

In Florida, this would qualify him or a judgeship.

(Thanks to Le Petomane, who says "He's gonna need a good lawyer.")

THE SMELLY SKIES

A PLANE passenger was booted off a flight because her rowdy emotional support PIG caused mayhem on board.

(Thanks to Patty Villanova and John Criswell)

November 15, 2017

NAME THAT CONTINENT

Ever wanted to see millions and millions of ruby-red crabs scuttling out of the forest and into the ocean?

(Thanks to Bob Brogan)

IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR

Santa Claus is busted with a crack pipe

(Thanks to Bob Brogan)

O COME LET US ADORE.... HUH?

Greggs has apologised for replacing baby Jesus with a sausage roll

(Thanks to Bob Brogan)

FLORIDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Titusville man holds stuffed Teddy bear hostage, then chokes his girlfriend, police say

Argument over pizza leads to stabbing in Melbourne, police say

Villager dressed in turkey costume arrested in theft of merchandise at Belk

Christmas tree topper used as weapon in St. Lucie County

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

D.U.I.B.

Dunedin motorist caught playing bagpipes while driving

(Thanks to Ralph)

WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?

Deputies said the man couldn't remember where he parked his car and figured they would get there faster if he said he was carjacked.

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)

'LET'S GO PHOENICES!'

Davis School District Parents petition to change school's 'crass' sounding mascot

(Thanks to Kevin Smith and Ralph)

MEOW, DUDE

Woman comes home to find her cats sprawled on floor after marijuana binge

(Thanks to Jan in Grimsby)

CZECH GUYS IN ACTION

Six Czech tourists who dressed up as Borat have been arrested in Kazakhstan for wearing nothing but mankinis.

(Thanks to Jan in Grimsby)

THE OUTLOOK

It's not good.

(Thanks to tmpsinc)

HE NAMED IT 'SAUL'

Man Sets World Record For Largest Ball Of Stickers

(Thanks to John Lobert)

November 14, 2017

WE MIGHT AS WELL SHRED THE DAMN CONSTITUTION

A protester whose breasts were covered only by body paint was unable to persuade a federal appeals court that her First Amendment and equal-protection rights were likely violated when she was fined for violating Chicago’s public nudity law.

(Thanks to Kevin Smith)

 

'AUTO-BREWERY SYNDROME'

Former soldier gets drunk on FOOD as bizarre condition means his stomach turns carbs into booze

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

THERE IS NOTHING LEFT TO BELIEVE IN

One of world’s most prominent Scrabble players banned temporarily for cheating

(Thanks to wiredog)

RUMBLE!

Cops from Detroit's 12th Precinct were posing as drug dealers to ensnare buyers. But they were approached by more undercover officers from the 11th Precinct.

(Thanks to Peter Metrinko)

AT LEAST THE LINES ARE SHORTER

Tourists looking for theme park end up at waste incinerator

(Thanks to Ralph)

INCREDIBLY, THEY DO NOT LIVE IN AUSTRALIA

These crabs can grow up to 3 feet - and hunt birds, a biologist's video proves

(Thanks to Woozy Barnes)

TOTALLY PLAUSIBLE

Man Tells Police He Was Meeting DEA On Rooftop In Vero Beach

(Thanks to John Mayson)

FASHION ALERT

Stove Top Thanksgiving Dinner Pants

(Thanks to Clayton Carroll)

IN FLORIDA YOU CAN USE AN ACTUAL PIZZA

Police: License Plate Made From Pizza Box Doesn't Fly in Massachusetts

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

Related: Painting your vehicle registration tabs doesn't work

(Thanks to B'Game)

DATELINE BUKITTINGGI

Sleeping shopkeeper is rudely awoken and pulls out a SWORD when a bungling thief drops the cash register while trying to steal it

(Thanks to Roberto)

IMAGINE THE SHRINKAGE

Naked scientists race around the pole in the frigid cold to try to join Antarctica's exclusive 300 Club.

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

CANADA: LAND OF EXCITEMENT

Watch a 24-hour live stream of spinning donair meat

(Thanks to The Perts)

November 13, 2017

AND 100 PERCENT OF GUYS

Majority Of Americans Would Skip Holiday Gift-Giving, Survey Says

THIS JUST IN FROM JAPAN

“How did this design ever make it past the approval process?”

(Thanks to Ralph)

 
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