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October 23, 2017

IS THERE A PROBLEM, OFFICER?

An Oklahoma motorist was covered in Vaseline and wearing only a thong bikini when a patrolman pulled over his vehicle for speeding, according to a court filing which notes that a porno magazine was atop the passenger seat.

(Thanks to Bill Hudgins)

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Keywords for the article: Oklahoma, Thong, Vasoline. Probably a unique set.

I mean, we do still have a Constitution, right? Show me where there is a dress code for Oklahoma drivers, because I'm pretty sure there isn't one.

Thoughtful of him to offer his semen rag to the officer. Noted.

Bury Reynolds already did this in 1996, in the movie Striptease, starring Demi Moore:

Danger! Eye Bleach!

^Burt.

Bury is what I wanted to do with this movie after I rented it.

Striptease was based on a Carl Hiaasen book. Sorry Carl...

Larry Hovis also did this as Sgt. Carter in a Hogan's Heroes episode. He had to retrieve a German codebook they had dropped down a well.

That's not a hands-free device.

Must be a prison thing. Bet he was a girlfriend...with the thong and all.

Jiffy lube?

Did the wind go whistlin' down the plain?

People still buy porno magazines?

Life in the Vass’ Lane..

He had just auditioned for the lead role in Grease?

I am shocked! Why would anybody buy a porn magazine? No internet access?

HOW DO THEY KNOW IT WAS VASELINE

That mugshot - "The Dude abides, man..."

I used to be a doc at a state prison (hence my moniker). One day the guards discovered an inmate in disciplinary lock-down had been hoarding Vaseline. The guards decided to do shake down for contraband. When they entered the cell, the guards discovered the inmate had used the Vaseline to coat every square inch of his quarters, including the furnishings. The inmate was under 24 hour video surveillance, and the video of the four guards slipping and sliding around the cell (with the inmate laughing hysterically from his bunk) entertained prison employees for several weeks.

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