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October 16, 2017

PUTTING YOUR JACK O'LANTERN TO SHAME

Man builds 2-story 'Star Wars' vehicle replica for Halloween

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

SHE SHOULD GET A MEDAL

Longmont police arrest gun-toting woman who threatened squirrel

(Thanks to Michael Hutchinson)

LADIES: HE MIGHT BE SINGLE!

The woman was able to identify Wilson in a lineup. He has a 2-line forehead tattoo that reads in part, "I'm a pornstar".

(Thanks to Patty Villanova)

WE SAW THEM OPEN FOR BON JOVI

Are flatulent shellfish really contributing to climate change?

(Thanks to Steven Pudlo)

THEY ARE FAR AHEAD OF US

Squirrels Use Sophisticated Technique To Separate Nuts By Type, Study Finds

(Thanks to Rob Simbeck, Catherine DeLorey, Patty Villanova, bandarr3000 and John Lobert, who says "I keep mine together.")

BEAM ME UP TO WASHINGTON

Miami politician says aliens took her on a spaceship. Now she’s running for Congress.

CANADIAN MEDICAL CARE UPDATE

Dr. Kitty will see you in her basement now.

(Thanks to Roberto)

THAT'LL BUY A LOT OF KRISPY KREME

A man arrested in Florida after police mistook doughnut glaze in his car for meth has received a $37,500 settlement.

(Thanks to Bill Carver and Al Barkafski)

FAJITA: GATEWAY TO AVOCADO

The Cameron County District Attorney’s Office has beef with one Juvenile Justice Department employee, alleging he stole $1.2 million worth of fajitas during the past nine years.

(Thanks to Bill Hudgins, Le Petomane and Al Barkafski)

WE BLAME THESE MILLENNIALS, WITH THEIR INSATIABLE APPETITE FOR TOAST

3 California men arrested for illegal sale of avocados totaling more than $300K Email

(Thanks to Jon Harris)

WE HARDLY KNEW YE

Jeremy the Lefty Snail Is Dead.

(Thanks to hugetracts)

WASN'T THIS A SCENE IN 'ZOOLANDER?'

Man arrested after trying to light cigarette with nozzle

(Thanks to Le Petomane and Patty Villanova)

THE WEST

Apparently it's still wild.

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

EW

Ew.

(Thanks to Stan Ruth)

MRS. MONGO!

Woman 'punches police horse' and tries to pull officer to ground during brutal clash between football fans

(Thanks to Roberto)

Headline reference here.

 
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