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October 04, 2017

SO... SANTA CLAUS IS A ZOMBIE?

Archaeologists in Turkey believe they have discovered Santa Claus's tomb

(Thanks to Alkali Bill and Le Petomane)

THE FOOD AND DRUG ADMINISTRATION: LOOKING OUT FOR YOU (ASSUMING YOU'RE AN IDIOT)

The U.S. Food and Drug Administration has told the Nashoba Brook Bakery, in Concord, Massachusetts, that "love" shouldn't be listed on packaging for its granola.

Autoplay.

(Thanks to Jon Harris and Fabian Marson)

SEND THIS SCHOOL SUPERINTENDENT TO WASHINGTON

Ohio school superintendent suspended for pulling down board VP’s pants

(Thanks to Judy B)

WE MIGHT AS WELL JUST SHRED THE CONSTITUTION

A pair of naked Wisconsinites repeatedly ignored a cop’s demands that they cease having sex in the backseat of a parked car, a brush off that resulted in their arrest for engaging in lewd and lascivious conduct.

IN THAT CASE, SIR, YOU ARE FREE TO RETURN TO THE FUTURE

Man claiming to be a time traveler is arrested for public intoxication

(Thanks to Linda Schutjer)

CANADA'S CONTINUING DESCENT INTO CHAOS CONTINUES

B.C. town councillor sorry for dog poop left on desk

(Thanks to W. von Papineau)

FORTUNATELY THE FIGHTER JETS WERE ABLE TO SHOOT IT DOWN

A Turkish man pleaded guilty Tuesday to interfering with a flight crew and blamed his inflight behavior that prompted fighter jets to escort the plane to its Honolulu destination on hallucinating that he was chasing a butterfly.

(Thanks to Patty Villanova)

SIX OF ONE, HALF DOZEN OF THE OTHER

Woman expecting yoga mat gets $400,000 worth of drugs instead

(Thanks to John Mayson)

AND IN SPORTS

Runner’s penis snatches defeat from jaws of victory

Advisory: Penis.

(Thanks to Michael Huber)

ARRR

Knoxville man dressed as pirate arrested for burglary

Screen Shot 2017-10-04 at 5.54.36 AM

(Thanks to the Louisiana Bureau, which says: "International burglarize like a pirate day.")

SO MANY BOATING MISHAPS SEEM TO OCCUR THERE

Coast Guard rescues 3 people near Sea Level

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

 
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