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September 07, 2017

UPDATE FROM MIAMI:

We are NOT FREAKING OUT AT ALL.

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In an old version of Sims, one option was to bring in tornados, floods, and generic large green creatures that did not have to be licensed as Godzilla.

If you called up two or three disasters, the game would ask if the you were tired of your world and wanted to quit.

With Irma arriving and Jose on the horizon, maybe we need to do some reflecting. And get a boatload of beef jerky.

Dave, I hope you have a cellar to hide in, with your family. judi is probably already in Nebraska, I assume.
And a wine cellar would be probably the best place to hide, just like that Virgin guy did.
The Irma cone center is heading directly at Miami.. not good.

Those of us near the Texas coast say it's time to hunker! stay safe

I can imagine the chaos. Take a trip to Michigan and stay. Buy a cabin north to vacation in. Stay safe and I hope that the hurricane passes you by.

Take care, David - jerky fumes can be flammable ("post-consumption"). This would cause generator problems of a different sort.

Goodbye Florida. We will remember you fondly.

Easy for me to say since I'm not there dealing with it, but good spirits (not the liquid kind) and a sense of humor may be the most valuable things to have right now. All best to you and everyone in the path.

@Qaz, I didn't know Richard Branson hid out in a wine cellar during a hurricane. I remember reading an article about him a dozen or so years ago, after a hurricane hit his private Caribbean island, and he said he had actually sat out in the swimming pool for awhile during the hurricane just to experience it.

Toad Intestines Packed In Snail Vomit are pretty bland without hot sauce.


People try to put us d-down (Talkin' 'bout my generator)
Just because we get around (Talkin' 'bout my generator)
Things they do look awful c-c-cold (Talkin' 'bout my generator)
I hope I die before I get old (Talkin' 'bout my generator)

This is my generator
This is my generator, baby

Why don't you all f-fade away (Talkin' 'bout my generator)
Don't try to dig what we all s-s-s-say (Talkin' 'bout my generator)
I'm not trying to 'cause a big s-s-sensation (Talkin' 'bout my generator)
I'm just talkin' 'bout my g-g-g-generator (Talkin' 'bout my generator)

My generator
This is my generator, baby


Why don't you all f-fade away (Talkin' 'bout my generator)
And don't try to d-dig what we all s-s-say (Talkin' 'bout my generator)
I'm not trying to 'cause a b-big s-s-sensation (Talkin' 'bout my generator)
I'm just talkin' 'bout my g-g-generator (Talkin' 'bout my generator)

This is my generator
This is my generator, baby
My my my generator

--
Hey! You! Get off of my bazooka
Hey! You! Get off of my bazooka
Don't hang around 'cause two's a crowd
On my cloud, baby

@wanderer -here is an article in the Mail (UK):

Previous version was saying that he hid in his wine cellar.

"Roofs ripped off... but Dad's okay': Sir Richard Branson's son confirms his father survived hurricane which left one dead and many homeless on the British Virgin Island of Tortola"

wanderer, I read it this morning. Branson and his "guests" (NTTAWWT) spent the night in his wine cellar while his mansion was destroyed above him. His island, as well as St. Martin and Barbuda, was pretty much flattened.

Dave, I still think you'd be better off in Nebraska, or perhaps in North Dakota with Don and Ivanka (maybe you could show them your sewage treatment place), but either way, good luck. Don't forget to hunker!

I'm Hunkered in my Bunker and I raise my glass to you!

Sending a toast to Dave, judi, and a nod to manual tomato.

Dave, if you don't actually eat the lentils, you can always substitute them for rice at a wedding.

This is why I prefer living on the Best Coast. Sure, we have the occasional earthquakes and brushfires, but those happen, on average, about once every 4 or 5 days. Hurricanes, on the other hand, give you several days advance time to worry.

I like my short-notice disasters. There is comfort in not knowing.

Good luck, Dave and Judi!

Or they're good to fill sandbags.

"Toad Intestines Packed In Snail Vomit" WBAGNFA Chinese rock band.

After looking at the current projected trajectory of Miss Irma, I don't think you have to worry about repairing your generator: that sucker's going to end up about a block or two away. So it'll be someone else's problem.

Whole House Electrical Generator Owner's Manual
Chapter 4 - Important Safety Information:

Hurricanes: Your electrical generator may act as homing beacon for hurricanes. Never under any circumstances should you operate your home's electrical generator before, during or after an actual weather emergency.

Ants: Your electrical generator is particularly attractive as a home to many species of ants. Your generator is a safe, warm and dry place for native ant species and northern relocated ant species. The first ant tenants will have already signed ant condominium purchase agreements and have moved into your generator even before you have a chance to use your new generator.

Burmese Pythons: See Ants.

I live in the heart of lentil producing country (Eastern Washington State), We even have an Annual Lentil Festival.

I feel it only fair to warn you: Lentils are not edible.
They are little stone disks machined out of the local basalt on "lentil farms" which are, in reality, secret DOD machine shops. They were designed and originally produced to be used as shrapnel in artillery shells. The frisbee shape gave them greater range and penetrating power than the usual fragment of hot steel. For even distribution in the shells, lentils are usually embedded in a Masoor Dal sauce, although chili con carne has also been effective.
WARNING!
Do not release lentils in high wind conditions. They can become airborne and cause great devastation.

Lay low; stay dry; forget water--drink beer; and secure those lentils!

Some idiot weather person here mentioned we could get part of Irma where I live which is near Charlotte, N.C. Of course I went to Walmart immediately and bought bottled water, bread, milk, peanut butter, Diet Coke, and a box o' wine. It's the same things I buy when they mention we could get an inch or two of snow. I already have a can of Spam, some livermush, and about a hundred batteries which are probably all dead. The last "real" hurricane we had here was Hurricane Hugo. I still have my t-shirt that says, "I survived Hurricane Hugo". My dad and I have managed to get my very stubborn relatives in Florida to evacuate to our family home in Georgia. I hope everyone in Florida stays safe and Irma changes her mind and goes back out to sea.

Branson stayed in his pool just to 'see what it was like'? Points for insouciance. My hurricane expert, (an anonymous thug from the 1948 film 'Key Largo') says "I hear a hurricane blows off roofs and puts the snatch on people. And they all fly around in the sky ...'

Best wishes to all. Let's hope it veers off at the last minute, they sometimes do.

How are the monkeys coping?

NC: I'm on the Gulf just west of Tampa. My parents near Charlotte suggested I refugee up to their place now. So I've been tracking the path that far. Yes, according to the latest projection Irma could still be on the low end of "Tropical Storm" by the time it gets to you Mon night.

Downed trees and hopefully brief power outages are certainly possible.

Best of luck to all, including me.

Richard -- you must be near me (Clearwater). I'm on very high ground at 66' above sea level, and I live in a giant cinderblock bunker, so I'm gonna hunker. I'm confident she'll keep inching east and take the north turn sooner than predicted.

I have peanut butter. I'm all set.

Free lentils at Dave's house on Tuesday! Bring shovels and rakes!

Meteorologist Paul Douglas: "Miami is a sitting duck."

Dave, you and your family stay safe. Save the lentils (good name for a rock band?) for Dylan to make mosaics.

(I imagine judi is hunkering with some guys in kilts.)

Despite rumors to the contrary, I am not the Blog's generator guy, but I have heard that one cause of generator malfunctions is the presence of a nearby degenerate. Removing the interference may help.

I just wanted to mention something that people sometimes forget about when a major storm is approaching. If you are on any type of prescription medication make sure you have at least two weeks of your medications on hand. Diabetics should also make sure they can safely store their insulin in case the power goes out. It's also a good idea to have a fully stocked first aid kit. I hope everyone stays safe.

Virginia has this good idea:

If a Major Hurricane (maybe it has to be a Major Major Hurricane) is approaching Hampton Roads, which is the harbor by Norfolk, Virginia Beach, Suffolk, Michael Vick, Chesapeake (the city), etc., I-64 East will be closed to Eastbound traffic to allow Westbound traffic.

Do not try this in Florida unless the police tell you you can.

oneblankspace, I lived in Hampton Roads for three years. It's my favorite place in the world and I miss it so much.

FYI to everyone:

The Blog's house, which is about 100 yards from the Coral Gables Waterway and slightly over a mile from the ocean, is located in a mandatory evacuation zone.

Without even considering potential wind damage, given the predicted rainfall and storm surge, a generator may be the least of his problems, and many others'. Freaking out is probably a wise response for much of Florida right now.

Ralph is right, and this morning does not look better for Florida. The storm is MORE THAN DOUBLE THE SIZE OF ANDREW! We saw the damage that did just south of Miami 25 years ago. I really wish Dave and his family were getting out of there.

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