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September 09, 2017

LENTILS

After this column ran, many people sent us lentil recipes. The best one came from Mr. P.J. O'Rourke:

Good lentil recipe: Boil in pot for 12 hours. Drain. Throw away lentils. Eat pot.

Comments

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Eat pot or smoke it ?

Where is the Chief when you need him most?

Would that be Don Adams or Tim Conway or maybe Ten Bears?

Y'all crack me up.

The Chief played straight man to Don and Tim. Ten Bears played a straight man's straight man.

Stop talking like that, Frank, especially in front of the children.

Lentils are the source of the adjective "lenticular". They can also be made into soup, but you gotta add lots of bacon. Lots of bacon. And more water. More water, please. More, please.

I can and have lived (in the past) on lentils for long periods at about seventeen cents per day.

But the United Federation of High-School Government Nerds must unite against weaponized lentils.

Weaponized Lentils once opened for Elvis Costello and the Attractions.

Armed Forces was my favorite Elvis Costello album. I only have the original on CD. I hope I still do, anyway. I left a CD in the computer I used at SCAD. It may have been a different one.

I also loved Bruce's first album, Greetings from Asbury Park, NJ. We lived in central Jersey from '68 to '71. Bowling was 25 cents per game at the base; 10 cents for the shoe rental. I think haircuts were 50 cents, but you got what you paid for in that case. I remember a local band played The Beatles' "Back in the U.S.S.R." in a gym over at Earle. You can't make this up. I loved that song.

Maybe you'll have a chance to get back up there someday.

Frank!

Oh no...

Chill T.

Now let's not go getting all outta control here. Where's my friend Barney when I most need him?

I last saw him eating sauerkraut in a French restaurant.

Reminds me of the "Tennessee breakfast" recipe once passed along by Charles Kuralt:

Get yourself a jug of good corn liquor, a thick beefsteak, and a hound dog. Then feed the beefsteak to the hound dog.

Get it together, Frank!

My Grandmother emigrated from Italy. Among the many strange and scary dishes she created was...you guessed it....lentil soup. As a young child living with her and my Grandfather, I was forced, on pain of a schiaffo nell'orecchio, to eat it. My grandparents were cruel that way. It means literally "slap in the ear", but the transliteration would be "slap upside the head".
This has been your Italian lesson for the day.

It occurs to me that my Omega Man character should really be rendered as one of the following: 1) omegaman, 2) omega man, 3) omegaMan, 4) omega Man, 5) omega q, 6) omega t, 7) omega x, etc. It's just all quite confusing for me to enter this world relatively late in life.

I greatly appreciate your example in these things. You've all been wonderful. I need to step back at this point. My hope is to release a serialized record that I can later build upon. I do happen to have a book in the works, though it seems to me that releasing content in a serialized fashion is the way to go. If people find it useful or inspiring in some way, my guess is that it may somehow catch on. I believe that's what each of you have done. I'll say for the record that I think y'all have done quite well. Best regards as you each strive on according to how you feel most strongly led. Here's the site if you'd like to check it out sometime: https://jkenaston.blogspot.com

I'm really more into curriculum development on various levels, though it might be fun to return to this superhero fantasy approach sometime later. So they say: every fruit...

Yo, you didn't even ask about the weather done there. What are you, stupid?

I think we'll need some help from the real writer in the family. Edithe!

You can't imagine how busy she is right now.

Chill s. This'll all work itself out over time.

Seriously, though, we've got you in our prayers.

To be continued / under development / Time is on your side.

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