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September 10, 2017


We had a crappy day, along with basically the rest of Florida. But we're OK, and on the east coast of Florida the crappy day is finally ending. It's ending with agonizing slowness -- there is NO day as long as a hurricane day -- but it IS ending. We hope the Gulf Coast does OK with Irma. Over here in Miami we have messed-up yards and streets, many downed trees, messed-up houses. Also many people without power, including us, although we're lucky enough to have a generator, at least until the fuel runs out.

Hurricanes suck.

(Your "No, Dave, Hurricanes BLOW" joke goes here.)

Anyway, thanks to all who expressed concern. We love you back, from under this massive pile of fallen foliage.

We still have not touched the lentils.


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Trust me Dave - since my Grandmother isn't around to slap either of us upside the head - you do NOT want to eat those lentils. Eat the wallpaper first, it'll taste better.
Glad you're doing ok!

Siphon hose, Dave. Great to hear you are all good and your valid FL driver's license is still intact so you can continue to legally operate the generator for the next six weeks while they cut through the debris in order to to reach you.

More power to you.

(Talkin' 'bout my gennnnerator...)

It is good to hear you and the family are okay. I assume that includes Edgar.

well, if they spawn a tornado, hurricanes would suck. There was a tornado warning when it passed St Thomas USVI.

Don't touch the lentils!

Glad you're all OK.

I've been watching the insane antics of Mike Seidel, Mike Bettis, and Jim Cantore on The Weather Channel, as they challenged Irma to, well, kill them, basically, with crazy stunts. So far all have survived, no thanks to them.

Honestly, we get it. Hurricane, winds, rain, flying debris, water, flooding. Go inside!

Lucy is too smart to eat the lentils. Maybe a nice iguana stew?

I'm so glad you and your family are okay and Irma is leaving your area. I've been watching The Weather Channel for the past two days and I have been worried about everybody in Florida. I've heard from Siouxie and she's doing okay too. In fact I've heard from several other Florida blogits and they are all safe.
I have another recipe for the lentils.
Put lentils in large pot.
Take outside and throw them out for the alligators that will be coming up from the Everglades. Easy peasy and everybody is happy! Unless the alligators don't like lentils but let's pretend they do.

Bequeath the lentils to your descendants.

Don't count on power coming back for a week or more. If it does, you're on the same line as Jeb Bush,

I went through the "no power - not enough gas" routine for 9 days some years ago. Unless you are using something that requires electricity, turn off the generator to save fuel. If you don't open your refrigerator much, you only need to power it a few hours a day. And it is actually possible for some humans to survive in Florida without air conditioning.

You'll be amazed to see that a degenerate's life isn't all that bad.

A lot of folks there in Fl are going to be degeneratored...

Glad you're ok, Dave. I heard Cantore is headed your way for a bowl of lentils.

Glad y'all are OK.
Lentils? Try lentejas instead: they taste sooo much better!

For your lentiling pleasure:


Glad to hear you're all safe and that Ralph (the other Ralph) apparently got your generator running.

In a pinch, you can dispose of your lentils by leaving them on a neighbor's porch in the middle of the night, similar to zucchini from a home garden. Although, on second thought, all of Florida knows by now that if lentils appear on their doorstep, they came from you.

We have been watching the Weather Channel and hoping you are OK. We advise beef jerky and fava beans along with a stock of good Chianti instead of lentils, but these hurricane things don't happen often...Right? Glad y'all are safe!
PS.. we hope Lucy had a chance for a brief outing.

Anagram: Dave's lentils = Salted Snivel

Didn't Salted Snivel open for Hooty & the Blowfish?
Dave, thanks for the update and assurance. A lot of us care about y'all.
Lucy, you're a good girl. When it's safe, please dig a hole and bury the lentils.

Wishing you all the best from Texas.

Congrats to Dave and Miami for missing the worst of it.

But now, we must hope for the best for Tampa town. Maybe the hurricane can keep going west?

But hurricanes do suck.

Lentils may be used for generator fuel, in an emergency.

Lentils can be nasty weapons when used in a slingshot.

I'm sorry that I'm coming in late, though if nothing else has worked, please consider loading me up for Jose. I'd like to give this a try:The Human Slingshot. Please take notes, just in case it works.

What could possibly go wrong?

Hold my beer and watch this.

Eye of the...

What is wrong with lentils ? A pot of water, some onions, ham or bacon, throw some oregano, salt pepper, carrots.....you've got some good eatens.

Glad everyone is AOK, Dave!

Next time, instead of shutters, just lentil the windows. When the hurricane is over, all you'll have to do is pull down all the now softened-up lentils, throw them into a pot for another 12 hours to make them semi-edible and voila! Dinner!


Ya make rice with chicken broth and onion.
Throw in a good handful of lentils with the rice...

They go down fine.And they add color.
This makes a complete protein.

So they tell me.

And ya can live on five dollars a week.

Coming to off-off-off Broadway in 2018: LENTILS, THE MUSICAL.

Wait, I thought that the whole "I live in Florida" thing was just an ongoing joke! :P

Time to move to Flathead County - the locals are interesting but the weather is boring.

First, glad y'all are safe.
I found a real New Mexican (no joke) recipe for lentils. Soak until tender, add some grated onion and a few chopped jalapeno peppers. Form into small pancakes and fry in a skillet with a little oil while turning often. It is claimed they taste like refried beans and are good with salsa added before serving. Might be worth a try. Then again, maybe not.
We knew a doctor who had a soybean farm. He sold the crops to a big paint manufacturing company. And there are those who claim soybeans are food. Just sayin'.

Yeah, yeah, glad you're safe and all.

However, an anxious nation awaits word: How is Walter?

One thing about the Blog: we aren't just fair-weather friends. You-all are the focus of combined good wishes, prayers, furrowed brows, and execrable puns from all over the world.

I'm assuming Lucy has reluctantly picked out a place to carry out her toilette...in a few eons, when the mud dries up, those piddle pads for "younger or more sensitive" dogs might be a good investment. (I can't help thinking of the near-impossible task of getting a recently toilet-trained toddler to "go" behind a bush on a picnic.)

All nattering aside, hang in there, keep us posted when you can, and give Lucy a big hug. Also Michelle, Walter, and any other occupants of your bunker.

P.S. There is a very nice old desert rat recipe for baked beans in Erle Stanley Gardner's "Spill the Jackpot"(1941) which also works for lentils and garbanzos.

So now we know that lentils are not an effective hurricane repellent. So what use are they? It's not like anyone would be foolish enough to eat them.

I miss my Mom's lentil soup.

Stay safe, stay dry, and put the lentils down and back away slowly

Glad you all are doing well. Central Athens (GA) is in the dark, but then you already knew that... Watkinsville appears to be doing fine. Today will certainly be one of assessment and cleanup.

A trivia factoid:
word "lens" (like in camera or eyeglasses) comes from the word "Lentil", because the guy who grinded the first lens thought it resembles lentils grain.

And I actually like lentils, in soup or a stew. It is used commonly in Greek cuisine. I spent two years in Greece and I love Greek food.

Lots of non-lentilly wishes for The Blog, the Stealth Blogerette, all the Florida and Houston-area bloggers, and their kin and pets (hopefully that's not redundant ...). Also for the stranded and struggling people in the Caribbean.

"I've got to have more power, Captain!" No, lentils and dilithium crystals are not equivalent.

Since Dave's generator has likely run out of fuel and/or he is otherwise occupied with assessment and clean-up, I think we need to employ the Headmaster of the School for the Hard of Hearing, Garrett Morris,
so he can assist in communicating.

me: Dave, we hope you are doing ...


me: .. and have not succumbed to eating the len ..


me: We send you our loving tho ..


me: Try not to fire ju ..


I learned more than I ever thought I'd need to know about lentils, thanks to you, Dave!

(I think I'll just stick with beans, thanks.)

There's even one type called "green manure." Yummy!

Anyway, hope you avoid the worst and enjoy the best.

And keep the lentils for sandbags for a future situation.

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