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September 01, 2017

FYI

These are the most dangerous sex positions

(Thanks to Steve Thompson)

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Research time !!

As always, the Post is on the case with the important stories.

Nothing about Reverse Cowgirl?

That "special sex furniture" recommended in the article: the "Floppenstopper"
-2017 Ikea Spring Catalog, p. 127. Available in Bisque, Tangerine, and Sea Foam. Assembly required.

My life's been a little too safety-conscious lately IYKWIM...

They failed to mention the most dangerous position:
The "I think my husband just pulled in the driveway".

Chief: "Smart, you'll be in constant danger every moment you're with her..." Don Adams: "AND LOVING IT !". I guess now we know what they meant. Yes I'll get back on the G. Bus.....

The original article came from the Sun with better illustrations and at least one funny comment...

https://www.thesun.co.uk/living/4366454/how-to-avoid-getting-hurt-while-having-sex/

Anything involving Lindsay Lohan or a Kardashian...

"I think you just tore my rotator cuff."

Luckily, my wife came with a warning label attached!

Styxnstonz and I are in agreement as to what constitutes a dangerous sex position. Being happily engaged in the bedroom with a lady and hear a door slam and a gruff voice boom out "Honey, I'm home early from my hunting trip." qualifies as one of the most dangerous.

" carpet burns "

Replacing carpet can be expensive.

On the other hand, carpet munching is generally safe.

@LePet - [cue "One Way Out" by the Allman Bros.]

I think the Broken Penises opened for the Sex Pistols in '82.

You guys do NOT want to hear nursecindy's stories about guys coming (so to speak) into the ER with broken Weiners. Trust me.

Jeff, at least I didn't go into too much detail when I was explaining how we realigned everything after the break.

How long until they got to try it out?

That reminds me of a horrible story my father told us. Seems when my mother was in the hospital giving birth to one of us, there was another woman having a baby. Seems her husband felt he had waited long enough, having forgone sex for a couple of months before she gave birth. When the doctor told him he'd have to wait another six weeks (?), he wasn't having it. That night my mother heard screaming coming from the woman's room and they found her husband... well, you can figure out the rest.

Last time I tried a Yogi, I got thrown out of Jellystone Park...

so what are the safer positions ?

Wheelbarrow? That's a thing now?

Words to live by: “Take time and stay in control to prevent slippage.” Because slippage could be very, very bad.

@Jeff
the fact that screams were heard shows the wrong option...er, never mind. What I meant to ask was: does the list contain sitting on a buzzing beehive?

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