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September 14, 2017

HE HAS THIS BLOG'S ENDORSEMENT

A South Carolina mayor was stopped by police after they found him driving a lawn mower down the middle of the road with an open beer.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

GUYS IN ACTION

Two drivers brawl in Lincoln Tunnel after one spray-paints penis onto the other’s truck

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson, Ralph and Al Barkafski)

EMERGENCY NEEDS LIKE THIS ARE EXACTLY WHY WE HAVE COUNTY GOVERNMENTS

A former administrative assistant to an Arkansas county official has pleaded guilty to fraudulent use of a credit card after prosecutors accused her of using public money to buy personal items, including a tuxedo for her pet pug.

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

ALL WE KNOW AT THIS POINT IS THAT IT HAS A VALID FLORIDA DRIVER'S LICENSE

Horrifying Dead Sea Monster Washes Up On Texas Beach

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

BERKELEY!

Naked activist slams city officials after ‘free the nipple’ proposal dies

One man took off his shirt in solidarity with the nipple liberation campaign.

(Thanks to Jon Harris)

CANADA CRACKS DOWN

Stuart Mackinnon, the Vancouver Park Board commissioner, put forward a motion that would prohibit the use and display of balloons -- mylar, rubber or plastic -- in Vancouver’s parks and community centres.

(Thanks to The Perts)

THEY WILL NOT RELENT

​There are reports of up to 6 cases where aggressive squirrels attacked people in the Lake Vista area.

(Thanks to Daniel Bareither)

THEY CAN HAVE OURS

Prince George connection drives demand for French lentils

(Thanks to Peter Metrinko)

AND STAY OFF HIS LAWN

Suspect thrown off roof by 83-year-old resident during hours-long standoff

(Thanks to Le Petomane and Jeff Meyerson)

YOU KNOW WHERE HE STANDS

Ted Cruz Clarifies Sex Toys Policy

(Thanks to Bobby Grawl)

SPAWN OF SATAN UPDATE

Man left unable to get an erection after being scratched by a CAT and contracting rare feline disease

(Thanks to Patty Villanova and Al Barkafski)

EVERETT, WASH., TACKLES THE ISSUES

What is 'anal cleft'?

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)

FLORIDA: COMING TOGETHER, HELPING ONE ANOTHER

Theft suspects stopped with utility pole on top of SUV

They told police they were "moving the pole to a safer location." In that case, sirs...

(Thanks to Kevin Meerschaert, Jon Harris and Geoff)

UPDATE

We promise to get out of Irma Mode soon, but we wanted you to know that one of the bad things about a hurricane is that when they finally reopen your supermarket, they won't let you buy ice cream

Ice Cream

Other than that, we're doing pretty well. Most of our trees got haircuts, but survived. There's one palm out front, however, that is looking pretty sad.

Sad palm

My neighbor Gene sent me an email saying we need Palm Viagra.

 
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