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September 06, 2017

THIS IS PRETTY GREAT

Summer Blockbusters: 8-Minute Battle Between Convenience Store Clerk And Two Would-Be Robbers

(Thanks to John Lobert)

NOBEL PRIZE ALERT

The Oktoberfest sneaker's design was inspired by Bavarian leather pants and features brown leather that has been treated to be "puke and beer repellent."

(Thanks to Bob Brogan)

CSI: THE HAGUE

Dutch man imprisoned for stealing plastic duck

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

WHERE BE THE UNITED NATIONS?

Krispy Kreme ends popular ‘Talk Like a Pirate Day’ promotion

(Thanks to PirateBoy)

"WE WATCH A *LOT* OF 'GAME OF THRONES'"

One Cypress woman promises a fate worse than being shot if any enterprising criminals decide to target her home.

(Thanks to Steve K.)

TODAY'S BUSY CONSUMER

Investigators allege that Sessions masturbated while seated at a table in a Cheddar’s restaurant and used a sex toy on herself in a Home Depot parking lot. She also allegedly exposed herself in the Home Depot’s appliance section and engaged in a sex act inside a dressing room at a Kohl’s department store.

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

STAND BY YOUR MAN

A woman told detectives that her husband could not possibly be the man seen in surveillance video breaking into a Windermere home earlier this month because the couple was at a swingers club in Eustis when the crime was being committed, according to the Windermere Police Department.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson, who says "In that case, sir...")

MEDICAL PROCEDURE OF THE WEEK SO FAR

Denver nurses suspended for opening body bag to admire man’s genitals

(Thanks to Jane, near Denver)

*NOTHING* IN AUSTRALIA IS HARMLESS

Peppa Pig Episode Pulled From Australian TV for Telling Children That Spiders Are Harmless

(Thanks to Ranald Adams)

OTHER THAN THAT IT WAS A MAGICAL EVENING

Woman ends Tinder date stuck in window trying to grab her own poop

(Thanks to Ralph, Steve Thompson, Roberto, L. Raymond and Patty Villanova)

GIRDING FOR THE STORM

A Florida man performed a sex act on a female companion “in the middle of families” gathered on a Clearwater beach Sunday afternoon, according to cops who arrested the couple.

(Thanks to Stan Ruth and Kevin Smith)

SEND THIS WORKER TO WASHINGTON

Shanghai Construction Worker Shoveling A Rain Puddle

(Thanks to John Lobert)

IRMA PREPAREDNESS

You will find these tips to be extremely useful.

 
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