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August 12, 2017


Sex offender accused of masturbating in park blames groundhog

(Thanks to Ralph, and L. Raymond, who says: "Groundhogs are just squirrels who are afraid of heights, right?")


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"Can you describe the man you saw in the bushes?"

"Sort of looked like Barney Rubble, fur coat, short, puggy and either not not circumcised or had a badly damaged thumb. "

Wax on....

(Geezer reference: Karate Kid)

Did he see his shadow though?

So the groundhog made his pants fall down?

I'm pretty sure I saw that on Benny Hill.

Remember the good old days when everybody just blamed their stupid actions on the dog?

"In that case, sir, you are free to.... well, to do about anything but that."

Groundhogs are a member of the squirrel family. This guy might be a looney, but we know squirrels are capable of anything. And he may have been susceptible to mind control by that groundhog. I say arrest the groundhog.

The most embarrassing aspect of this story may be that the suspect took off on a moped.

A Styxnstonz- You are right about that. the squirrels first want to embarrass humans before actually starting the apocalypse.

I saw Startled By A Groundhog open for Flight of Seagulls. Heckuva show!

Hoping for Punxsutawney phellatio.

It had to be Jennifer Groundhog, Jessica Rabbit's cousin.

Was he dancing like the one at the end of Caddy Shack? That could be quite provocative for some folks. But that was a gopher according to Bill Murray's little ditty. Oh well. Same family of ground dwellers. Probably same dance moves.

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