IN THAT CASE, SIR....

Sex offender accused of masturbating in park blames groundhog

(Thanks to Ralph, and L. Raymond, who says: "Groundhogs are just squirrels who are afraid of heights, right?")

Comments

[manual tomato]

"Can you describe the man you saw in the bushes?"

"Sort of looked like Barney Rubble, fur coat, short, puggy and either not not circumcised or had a badly damaged thumb. "

[PirateBoy]

Wax on....

(Geezer reference: Karate Kid)

[Head_Smashed_In]

Did he see his shadow though?

[Jeff Meyerson]

So the groundhog made his pants fall down?

I'm pretty sure I saw that on Benny Hill.

[nursecindy]

Remember the good old days when everybody just blamed their stupid actions on the dog?

[padraig]

"In that case, sir, you are free to.... well, to do about anything but that."

[Le Petomane]

Groundhogs are a member of the squirrel family. This guy might be a looney, but we know squirrels are capable of anything. And he may have been susceptible to mind control by that groundhog. I say arrest the groundhog.

[Stixnstonz]

The most embarrassing aspect of this story may be that the suspect took off on a moped.

[Le Petomane]

A Styxnstonz- You are right about that. the squirrels first want to embarrass humans before actually starting the apocalypse.

[klezmerphan]

I saw Startled By A Groundhog open for Flight of Seagulls. Heckuva show!

[FredKey]

Hoping for Punxsutawney phellatio.

[OldPhil]

It had to be Jennifer Groundhog, Jessica Rabbit's cousin.

[Wendy]

Was he dancing like the one at the end of Caddy Shack? That could be quite provocative for some folks. But that was a gopher according to Bill Murray's little ditty. Oh well. Same family of ground dwellers. Probably same dance moves.