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August 31, 2017

FLORIDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

A Florida school was put on lockdown after after a man threatened parents with a gun and dead possum during dismissal, deputies said.

(Thanks to Jane from Kenai and Ralph)

Comments

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You don't know where that possum has been. Probably a good call.

I had a possum for dinner once. Terrible table manners.
And when it was time to clear the plates, he didn't even offer to help. Just played dead.

His name was Ernest T. Bass, right?

*waits patiently on geezer bus for Gomer and Goober*

Assault possums should be banned.

Come on, that's perfectly underst--- wait, did that say a DEAD possum? What a bunch of pantywaists.

Now, a dead possum WITH a gun -- now THAT would be scary.

I saw Dead Possum open for the Boomtown Rats.

If Markham has a good lawyer he'll get off. The police charged him for assault with a deadly weapon. Since he chucked a possum, the correct charge should have been assault with a possibly dead weapon.
I confused myself with this comment; think what it would do to a Florida jury.

Quando omni flunkus moritati.

"Leave the gun, take the possum"

This version of the story doesn't mention the possum, but says he was shirtless and told the parents to “get off my road.”

Maybe alcohol was involved. It was the possum's road.

It might have been a cry for help.

Whoa...that's really SERIOUS a dead gun and a LOADED POSSUM? Yeah...plenty serious!

Possumbly some laws broken here...
Yeah, so it was a reach.
Sue me.

It's okay. The dead possum had a valid Florida driver's license.

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