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August 22, 2017

IT WAS ASKING FOR IT

Police say a Massachusetts man was arrested during a weekend festival after he attempted to punch a police horse in the face.

(Thanks to Le Petomane, who says "But it worked for Mongo.")

For you whippersnappers: Here's Mongo in action.

NEEDLESS TO SAY THEY'RE ORANGE

German police seize 5,000 Trump-shaped ecstasy pills

(Thanks to Bill Hudgins, Bill Carver and Jon Harris)

IT'S ALWAYS THE LAST PLACE YOU LOOK

Dubai arrests man for hiding 5.7M pills in sheep intestines

(Thanks to Bill Hudgins, who says: "Ewe.")

HE WORE A WELDER'S MASK

Car theft suspect pulls over to watch eclipse, gets arrested, deputies say

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

PARENTHOOD

Child locks mom out of car in Amherst, but after eating some pizza, lets her back in

(Thanks to Ralph)

FORTUNATELY FOR HIM, THE FLORIDA LIMIT IS 18

Drunken driver hit 17 cars in Osceola County while trying to park, FHP says

(Thanks to B'game and Ralph)

IT IS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE A CHILD SHOWS UP WITH A SERVICE ANACONDA

Charlotte-Mecklenburg Schools officials may allow miniature horses to be used as service animals for students in the classroom.

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

TODAY'S JOURNALISM TIP:

When writing a headline, always read the story carefully.

(Thanks to Steve Thompson)

DO NOT MESS WITH THEM

Indian woman given permission to divorce husband after he fails to install toilet

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

WE THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME

Yes, you can now tip strippers with Bitcoin

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

Related: Austrian brothel buys a SECOND sex doll after its first became more popular with customers than real women

(Thanks to Patty Villanova)

BUT OFFICERS, THESE ARE FOR PERSONAL USE

Virginia man arrested for smuggling 500,000 contraband cigarettes into Brooklyn

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson, who says "We're gonna need more matches.")

 
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