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August 16, 2017

THEY'RE OVER BY THE HOTTIES

H-E-B president wonders what aisle 'hoochies' are on after finding grocery list

(Thanks to Bobby Grawl)

SOON THERE WILL BE NOTHING LEFT OF THIS ONCE-GREAT NATION

Chuck E. Cheese's animatronics may take a final bow

Autoplay.

(Thanks to Jon Harris)

BOLO

‘Jorts-wearing bandit’ hits St. Louis

(Thanks to Bill Hudgins)

LIKE A WINDSHIELD BUG ON A MUCH LARGER SCALE

Dead whale found stuck to bow of Princess cruise ship entering Alaska port

(Thanks to Le Petomane, who says "The Oregon Highway department is on the way to remove it.")

THE WIDOW USED PEPPER SPRAY

Man's widow, girlfriend have brawl at funeral home during viewing

(Thanks to Bill Hudgins, who says, "Other than that...")

WISCONSIN: WHERE MEN ARE MEN

Man accidentally shoots nail into heart, drives himself to hospital

"I'm not gonna get anything done today, I can see that already."

(Thanks to Al Barkafski)

IN THAT CASE, SIR...

"Police stopped and spoke to the defendant, who informed police he had found a hose and was going to take the hose and cut it up to make bong pipes," Snr Const Erskine said.

(Thanks to Ralph)

IN AMERICA HE'D GET A GRANT

Beijing art student rumored to have been disciplined for putting dildo on top of flagpole

(Thanks to Ralph)

WE'RE GONNA NEED MORE NOBEL PRIZES

Woman invents 'Sushi Cornish pasty'

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

WE THOUGHT WE WERE MAKING A JOKE

Mobile County schools ban outdoor eclipse viewing

(Thanks to D in Mobile)

 
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