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August 11, 2017

AS IF NORTH KOREA IS NOT ENOUGH OF A THREAT

...the South Carolina Emergency Management Division (SCEMD) sent out a bulletin asking residents to be on the lookout for Lizard Man during the upcoming solar eclipse on August 21st.

(Thanks to funny man)

Related: Has the Chupacabra been spotted in the Carolinas?

(Thanks to manual tomato)

MORE LIKE AN OTTODUDE

Ottoman delivered to Olympia furniture store with marijuana inside

(Thanks to B'game)

FLORIDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Drunken man sets scooter ablaze because he ‘got mad’ at it, cops say

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson, who says "You have to show these things who's the boss.")

THANKS, SCIENTISTS!

Scientists create the first mutant ants

(Thanks to Ray Reese, Jeff Meyerson and Al Barkafski, who says "What's next? Squirrels?")

FLATHEAD: THE COUNTY THAT KEEPS ON GIVING

Authorities began receiving reports of an individual posing as a U.S. Coast Guard officer and riding around Flathead Lake on a Jet Ski over the last month.

(Thanks to Not My Usual Alias)

JUST AS INEDIBLE AS WHEN IT WAS NEW

'Perfectly preserved' century-old fruitcake found in Antarctic hut

(Thanks to Lisa Aschkenasy, Ralph, The Perts. W. von Papineau and keithintampa)

MEANWHILE IN THE ARTS

This happened.

(Thanks to Roberto)

ALL PART OF THEIR MASTER PLAN

Squirrel starts fire, spoiling 82,000 litres of milk in Burnaby

(Thanks to Bob Brogan and Roberto)

WE'RE TOO TIRED TO USE IT

This calculator will tell you how much sleep you've lost since having kids

(Thanks to Jan in Grimsby)

WE WANT TO BELIEVE THIS IS FAKE

Dallas mum demands that solar eclipse 2017 be moved to the school holiday

(Thanks to Ralph)

 
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