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August 09, 2017

WHATEVER TIPPED THEM OFF, DUDE?

Birmingham woman in 'Weed World' van busted with $98,000 in pot, Chicago police say

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

THOSE BASTARDS

In this week’s Arlington County Police Department crime report, a Rosslyn resident called police to report that someone broke into their apartment and cleaned it.

(Thanks to Joe Green)

KEEP THIS UP AND IT WILL BE 10 MILLION

A Beeb employee did not appear to realise the strip show on his computer screen was being beamed to 3.8million viewers

(Thanks to Kevin Smith)

HE SHOWED 'SIGNS OF BEING HIGH'

Man causes stir by smoking pot in Portland courtroom

(Thanks to John Lobert)

GUESS THE STATE

Giant boa constrictor found living in family's attic for years

Autoplay.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson and Fabian Marson)

A.K.A. 'TRIMMING THE SAILS'

Thai Navy’s Secret Weapon Against Marauding Monkeys: Vasectomies

(Thanks to Peter Metrinko)

BECAUSE YOU DON'T ALREADY HAVE ENOUGH TO WORRY ABOUT

Europe is running out of butter

Autoplay.

(Thanks to Jay Brandes)

FLORIDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

This is what happens when fireworks are set off inside a Wendy’s

'AT FIRST, THE HORSE APPEARS TO NOT WANT TO LEAVE'

An unidentified man in a cowboy hat and cowboy boots rode a horse into a Whataburger restaurant and started dancing on tables Saturday night in Victoria, Texas.

(Thanks to Kevin Smith)

TODAY'S HEALTH TIP

Attention, men: Please do not put your penis in a coconut

Advisory: Bad words, coconut sex

(Thanks to Ralph)

BETTER THAN IGUANAS, WE SUPPOSE

'Fried Fried Chicken Chicken' beer contains real fried chicken

(Thanks to funny man and Bob Brogan)

STAY CLASSY, METALLICA FAN

Man arrested after peeing on family of 3 during Metallica concert in Glendale

Autoplay.

(Thanks to Jon Harris and Judy Barr)

WHAT SEEMS TO BE THE PROBLEM, OFFICER?

Busted for balloons.

Screen Shot 2017-08-09 at 11.03.25 AM

(Thanks to funny man)

AS RECOMMENDED BY CONSUMER EXPERTS

FAYETTEVILLE, N.C. - A woman upset over not receiving a cellphone she ordered later returned with a large firearm to rob the store.

(Thanks to Chris Johnson, who says "with my cell phone company, if you have a small gun, they make you wait.")

THEY DIED HAPPY

Orange County man sues Heineken, saying he found two geckos in his beer can

(Thanks to manual tomato)

'I GUESS HE DIDN'T LIKE BEING SHOT AT'

Burglary suspect returns to yell at TX homeowner who tried to shoot him

(Thanks to Stan Ruth)

CSI: VENTURA

Accused burglar doesn’t flush toilet, leaves DNA for police

(Thanks to Michael Moyer and Le Petomane)

 
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