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July 17, 2017

URGENT UPDATE

NEWS American Airlines insists farty passenger wasn’t cause of emergency

(Thanks to mezrap)

Comments

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The usual gas spinning.

You're over the hill at farty.

Stand by for a breaking wind news update.

All reporting on this issue so far has just been hot air.

The perp is now a hero to fifth-graders everywhere for being the farter who was able to clear out a plane.

They would say that, wouldn't they?

Weapons of Mass Deplaning--sshush! Don't tell United!

I specialize in revolving door farts. It's a special gift with my Metformin

What a revolting development this turned out to be.

Maybe the plane flew over the Fresh Kills (this is a real place), Staten Island landfill site. The landfill closed in 2001 but while the landfill was operating driving past the site was always a memorable olfactory experience. The name Fresh Kills has nothing to do with dumping bodies but it is easy to understand the confusion. A kill is a body of water, an estuary or creek. Once upon a time Fresh Kills was pristine, maybe someday it will be again.

Marc - maybe the name has nothing to do with dumping bodies, but I speak with confidence when I say that the "facility" itself probably could do with a few grave markers.

(And, no, I'm not in "the business".)

Meanie - The Fresh Kills facility certainly is conveniently located. The Pine Barrens is too far south and you would get your nice shoes all muddy. The Meadowlands is a favorite dump site but you have to cross into New Jersey, pay a toll.

I suspect the line for "disposal" at the Meadowlands would be prohibitively long, unless of course you paid the necessary fee (so-called "night differential") to move things along smartly. Fresh Kills, though very convenient, is also subject to an larcenous toll charge if you are coming from outside Staten Island.

You're right, though, that Fresh Kills could someday be pristine again. But not in my own or my [insert huge number of "great"s here] grandchildren's lifetimes.

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