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July 15, 2017

THINK HOW SWELL YOU'LL SMELL WHEN YOU BOARD YOUR FLIGHT

How to Burn Hundreds of Calories During Your Layover

(Thanks to The Perts)

Look at the photos. Try to imagine yourself doing these things in an airport.

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These are great. I do them every time I fly, in the same outfit.

--Richard Simmons

I wouldn't mind sitting next to the guy doing the squats, iykwim.

Or just sit in the food court and eat tacos.

The kind of people who would do this between flights probably are not the least bit concerned about their personal odor. I would imagine they're in the same group that does "Smell Dating."

Hold on, there, Cleopatra!

As Johnny Carson used to say, those aren't ALL the ways to get exercise at airports.

My staff (me, myself and I) have come up with 3 additional ways to get some exercise AND turn your trip in a an exciting and a memorable adventure!

1. Pretend you are a dog, walking on hands and knees,
and sniff other passengers' luggage. For more fun, start barking and panting loudly at someone's large black suitcase or gymbag, until airport security investigates.

2. Give your lungs a workout at the food court by screaming "I've been poisoned!" then faint.

3. Do a striptease then streak and jog around the airport, throwing your underwear at the TSA agents.

Legal Disclaimer: If you follow this, you may be arrested and be nuts,

During layovers I usually hit the bar. But I have to remind myself - Do not forget that you are supposed to fly somewhere. It did happen before.

To get a real airport workout that combines running, jumping, squats--well possibly others is easy and simple: Just hold up a bag, yell "I have bomb" and let the exercises begin.

The key is dressing like the guy in the article. You ought to breeze through security (although I doubt TSA gave the writer the thumbs up for running through the checkpoint. We could go back to the original Olympic Games model and everybody fly na

The key is dressing like the guy in the article. You ought to breeze through security, although I doubt TSA gave the writer the thumbs up for running through the checkpoint. We could go back to the original Olympic Games model and everybody fly naked.

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