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July 29, 2017

SOMEBODY HAS TO DO IT

This Couple Has Spent the Past 30 Years Visiting Every Cracker Barrel in the U.S.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson, who says: "It's good to have a goal. Up next: Chuck E. Cheese.")

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I checked. There are 523 Chuck E. Cheese's in the U.S. - which, as an aside, is a very scary thought - so they better get cracking.

I'm proud to say that when Jeff Meyerson and his wife visited N.C. I took them to a Cracker Barrel for dinner. Only the best for my guests. If you've never been to one try the Old Timer's breakfast when you do go. You will not be sorry.

The only downside to doing this is:
1) Cracker Barrel's signature décor feature is a plethora of farm implements and old metal signs nailed to the wall.
2) A large number of Cracker Barrel restaurants are located in areas of high tornado activity.
3) Calculating the mathematical probabilities, it is therefore only a matter of time before we're subjected to a tragic headline such as, "Elderly Indiana Couple Victims of Flying Pitchfork and Moon Pie Ad"...

Most of us old folk would just visit the same Cracker Barrel 644 times.

Even though they don't offer the entertainment value of a Chuck E. Cheese and may be located in Tornado Alley, Cracker Barrels are consistently the best road stop restaurant I know of.

We had a Cracker Barral that mysteriously closed one weekend. Employees showed up to find pink slips, and
the town never recovered. Rumor has it that graft or
cockroaches were involved..maybe both.

My goal is for my galaxy to collide with this one before I die.

I guess they proved that 30 years of Cracker Barrel is not automatically fatal, as science had originally thought.

The definition of science is having the same result every time. Maybe they are "the results"?

The first two Cracker Barrels in California are now under construction.

Their voyage continues....But Victorville and Rialto? Both these places make Flathead County look exciting by comparison!

I did try their deep-fried PB&J when I was in Florida. Now I know what really killed Elvis.

Wouldn't surprise me if Elvis faked his death. He would be 82. That's what really famous people do. It's a private issue. That's what I'm going to do. Haha

Just kidding, but being famous wouldn't be as cool as being God's best friend. All I want is the peace he promised me.

So they must have the menu pretty well memorized by now, right?

The menu never changes? Ewww..

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