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July 15, 2017


Novelty Store Heist Suspect Remains At Large

(Thanks to funny man)


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Pretty slick to get away with a retail bottle of Doc Johnson’s Joy Juice lubricant ($12). The best 'biggest dong I sell' story today, so far.

If/when they catch this genius, the headline should read "Ding Dong Who Stole Dongs Gets Dinged"

BOLO for juiced up thief and two big pricks.


What else is there to do in Blue Springs, Missouri?

All-American Ultra Whoppers WBAGNFA Steely Dan cover band.

Just sayin'.

Some years ago when I lived is Missouri, I went squirrel hunting near Blue Springs. I was unfamiliar with the area, so I asked an older man, my friend's uncle, if there were a lot of squirrels in the area. The guy looked up and stared at me for a long while like - are you a efing 'tard. I will never forget the look on his face. I forget exactly what He said, but his eyes peering back at me said, "there are a LOT of squirrels in the area, dummy."

The purloined sex toys are now hot rods.

Gives " Fast and Furious " a whole new meaning.

I'd hate to go to jail for this and have to tell my cellmate why I had been arrested.

$47 for 11" of plastic? That might be a bigger markup than movie theater popcorn. I should have gone into dildo trade.

What's wrong with aluminum foil and a potato?

Sorry, misplaced comment. But ya know, it could work!

Ya had me thinkin' there ImNotDave.

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