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July 15, 2017

'RUNNING NORTH TOWARD THE GROCERY STORE WITH THE TWO BIGGEST DONGS I SELL'

Novelty Store Heist Suspect Remains At Large

(Thanks to funny man)

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Pretty slick to get away with a retail bottle of Doc Johnson’s Joy Juice lubricant ($12). The best 'biggest dong I sell' story today, so far.

If/when they catch this genius, the headline should read "Ding Dong Who Stole Dongs Gets Dinged"

BOLO for juiced up thief and two big pricks.

Par-tay!

What else is there to do in Blue Springs, Missouri?

All-American Ultra Whoppers WBAGNFA Steely Dan cover band.

Just sayin'.

Some years ago when I lived is Missouri, I went squirrel hunting near Blue Springs. I was unfamiliar with the area, so I asked an older man, my friend's uncle, if there were a lot of squirrels in the area. The guy looked up and stared at me for a long while like - are you a efing 'tard. I will never forget the look on his face. I forget exactly what He said, but his eyes peering back at me said, "there are a LOT of squirrels in the area, dummy."

The purloined sex toys are now hot rods.

Gives " Fast and Furious " a whole new meaning.

I'd hate to go to jail for this and have to tell my cellmate why I had been arrested.

$47 for 11" of plastic? That might be a bigger markup than movie theater popcorn. I should have gone into dildo trade.

What's wrong with aluminum foil and a potato?

Sorry, misplaced comment. But ya know, it could work!

Ya had me thinkin' there ImNotDave.

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