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July 14, 2017

ADVISORY:

How FAKE BOOBS could save your life

(Thanks to Geoff, who says "For some reason I was cussed at for trying to save my wife's life.")

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I'm suddenly very concerned that I could be shot in the face at any moment.

"Dear, this scientific article clearly states that those boob implants I've been wanting you to get are strictly for your own safety. Trust me on this."

Certain overexposed Hollywood celebrities are practically invulnerable from all angles.

So in case of emergency seek shelter between large breasts - got it.

And in emergencies they can serve as a flotation device!

Some I've seen in south Florida only need 3 holes drilled and then they would be perfect for use in the local bowling alley.

So then, why don't the make body armor out of fake boobs instead of kevlar?

This explains the new restaurant chain "Bullet Catchers".

As the police raided the strip club, they shouted "It's a bust!"

Will butt implants keep your a$$ safe?

Good journalism--the article came with a helpful illustrative photo. :)

BTW, Tiny Airbags opened for Crash Test Dummies.

Do man-boobs work the same?

Imagine the new vest for police officers: moobs and bodycam. Maybe a tiny drone that self-deploys. Robocop Twins! I demand fixed points on this.

At last someone does some research that truly benefits the world.

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