« May 2017 | Main

June 25, 2017

DOWN!

Would Your Dog Eat You If You Died?

(Thanks to Jon Harris)

June 24, 2017

IT WAS CONSENTING POUTINE

Boston is doing 'horrific' things to poutine, warns magazine writer

(Thanks to The Perts)

'MOMMY MILK CREATIONS'

A Rhode Island company that makes jewelry from breast milk has been ordered to refund customers and return the breast milk they sent.

(Thanks to Al Barkafski)

SO THEY'RE ON TO SOMETHING

While a television news crew was gathering footage for a story about crime in the Albuquerque downtown area, a thief drove off in the station's SUV.

(Thanks to Rob Simbeck, Le Petomane and funny man)

FLORIDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Serial mailbox destroyer wreaks havoc on neighborhood (Autoplay)

Villager who said she drank wine at community pool arrested after wild ride in golf cart

Florida contractor fakes death to dodge angry homeowners

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson, funny man and Jim Kenaston)

THE LID WAS UP

Found: A Viking Toilet, the Oldest Bathroom in Denmark

(Thanks to Jan in Grimsby)

WHAT'S THAT SMELL?

Radio powered by your own sweat hints at future of wearables

(Thanks to Rob Simbeck, who says "I have friends who could power trucks.")

JUST SHOOT US

Man Visits Disneyland 2,000 Days in a Row

Autoplay.

(Thanks to Rob Simbeck)

THIS GLOBAL CLIMATE CHANGE IS WORSE THAN WE THOUGHT

Goose wearing a red thong found by RSPCA

(Thanks to Alan Dean)

June 23, 2017

WE'LL PAY, THANKS

This Is How You Earn A Free Shot At A Bar in Thailand

Autoplay.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

CRIMINAL MASTERMIND OF THE WEEK SO FAR

Just watch.

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

YOU CAN MAKE IT THERE

An Uber-style toilet van has been cruising the streets of New York this week, answering the calls of those busting to use a bathroom.

Autoplay.

(Thanks to Allen at Division, Bill Hudgins and mezrap)

THE FROG DOESN'T FEEL SO GREAT EITHER

Woman Finds Frog in Salad at BJ’s Restaurant in West Covina, Says She Still Feels Sick a Week Later

(Thanks to Jay Brandes)

A GREAT FIRST-DATE ICEBREAKER

Smell PGH lets you report weird smells in Pittsburgh

(Thanks to RussellMc)

YOU SNORT IT WITH SYRUP

Elgin men tried to pass off pancake mix as $27,000 worth of cocaine, police say

We're not sure we understand why you can be arrested for selling pancake mix, but whatever.

(Thanks to Not My Usual Alias, who says "Looks like we have about $10k worth of batter in the pantry.")

NUTRITIONALLY THEY ARE IDENTICAL

More parents have admitted mistakenly trying to feed their children dog food after a pet snack pack featuring a well-known kids cartoon was put next to chips in a supermarket.

Name This Blog Is Not Making Fun Of: "Whanganui"

(Thanks to Another Ralph)

WE'RE STILL TRYING TO ADJUST TO FIDGET SPINNERS

Toothpick crossbow: New toy strikes fear in parents' hearts

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

Update: Speaking of fidget spinners.

(Thanks to Bob Brogan)

FLORIDA: OUR SENIOR CITIZENS ARE NOT LIKE YOUR SENIOR CITIZENS

Deputies in The Villages bust suspected drug house, golf cart chop shop

Autoplay.

(Thanks to Jay Brandes and Al Barkafski)

ADVISORY

Beware floating fire ant colonies during floods

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

CSI: HERKIMER COUNTY

Morons busted trying to steal cops’ cocks

(Thanks to Al Barkafski and John Gregg)

WE'LL NEVER FORGET WHERE WE WERE WHEN WE HEARD THE TERRIBLE NEWS

Kim Kardashian's butt is disappearing!

(Thanks to The Perts)

YOU KNOW WHO'S BEHIND THIS

Swimmers warned after aggressive beaver attacks two in Swiss river

(Thanks to Ralph)

PRIORITIES

Florida bar gets robbed as patrons continue to drink

(Thanks to Andrew Mendez)

THIS HAPPENS FAR TOO OFTEN

Worker bit in tussle with would-be thief over stripper pole

(Thanks to Bill Hudins and Le Petomane)

June 22, 2017

NOW *THIS* IS LEADERSHIP

Wasp flies in Costa Rica president’s mouth, he eats it

(Thanks to Ralph)

AT LEAST HE'S CLEAN

Vero Beach Man Sniffs 9 Cans Of ‘Dust-Off’ Canned Air

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

YET YOUR PHONE BATTERY DIES EVERY DAY AROUND 3pm

Pennsylvania alarm clock stuck in wall for 13 years goes off every day

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

June 21, 2017

WOOF, DUDE

Medical marijuana woos four-legged fans

(Thanks to Roberto)

WE BLAME GLOBAL CLIMATE CHANGE

Ikea is investigating after a man reported his grapes caught fire in one of their bowls.

(Thanks to Ed Floden)

GOD KNOWS HOW THIS RESIDENT WOULD HAVE REACTED TO A STANDARD FLORIDA COCKROACH

Houston resident calls animal control to remove 'alligator' that turns out to be lizard

(Thanks to Jim Kenaston)

THIS BLOG STANDS WITH THE ORGANIZERS

Just days ahead of its opening, the organizers of Columbus’s Community Festival (ComFest) have announced that they intend to file a lawsuit seeking an injunction against law enforcement agencies from punishing women for going topless at the popular event.

(Thanks to Mike Leone)

WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT THE CANNIBALS WANTED

A man complaining that cannibals were determined to eat his intestines was tased on Monday by Lake County sheriff’s deputies.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

NAME THAT STATE!

When a deputy asked Whyard how much she had to drink, she replied, “Not Enough!”

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

YOU GO, MOM

Mom befriends shirtless football players at daughter's college orientation

(Thanks to Jon Harris)

AS IS HER CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHT

A Texas woman who police said packed a loaded pistol in her vagina has been sentenced to probation after she pleaded guilty to drug possession.

(Thanks to Bill Hudgins)

PEOPLE OF OHIO:

Our condolences.

(Thanks to funny man)

SOME DAY THESE FOOLS WILL FIGURE OUT THAT *ALL* SQUIRRELS ARE 'ROGUE'

Rogue squirrel goes nuts in Time Inc office building

(Thanks to mezrap)

CSI: JACK IN THE BOX

Gun brandished, three arrested in Pierce over chicken nuggets

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)

THEY ALSO DEMAND CIGARETTES

Gangs of aggressive killer whales are shaking down Alaska fishing boats for their fish

(Thanks to wiredog)

WE NEED A WALL PROTECTING US FROM CANADA

Canada police investigate theft of mummified human toe served in drinks

(Thanks to L. Raymond, The Perts, Joseph Feather, Jon Harris, Ron Weil, funny man and Bob Brogan)

June 20, 2017

WE MIGHT AS WELL SURRENDER TO NORTH KOREA RIGHT NOW

Mattel has introduced Man Bun Ken.

Autoplay.

TOO BAD FATHER'S DAY IS OVER

Here's a rock that looks like Marge Simpson (we're defining "looks like" as "looks nothing like") for only $25,000 and shipping is free.

(Thanks to Brian Duval)

WALMART: WHERE AMERICA GETS WEIRD

"I want you to know I have this Batman costume on but I'm an off-duty police officer."

(Thanks to Le Petomasne)

KINKY BUTTERFLY

It features sperm packages of ungodly size. It involves genitals that double as a souped-up stomach. There’s even an honest-to-goodness vagina dentata.

(Thanks to wiredog)

THE SCIENCE IS SETTLED

There's One Surprisingly Huge Health Benefit to Ejaculation

(Thanks to Rick Day)

THIS BLOG IS NOT MAKING FUN OF HIS NAME

A Livermore Falls man has been charged after allegedly dumping mayonnaise on a man.

(Thanks to Ralph)

CSI: SOUTH CAROLINA

A little over a month after an investigation into the alleged killing of a duck by an estranged boyfriend, the Lancaster County Sheriff’s Office is investigating another case of fowl play, only this time the victims are turkeys.

(Thanks to Christy McWhorter)

YES

Brooklyn Bar Turns Wall of Taps into ‘Beer ATM’

(Thanks to The Amazing [burp] Steve)

YOU KNOW THIS IS ALL PART OF SOME NEFARIOUS PLOT

A pet squirrel that gained fame by thwarting a home burglary in Idaho has returned to the wild.

Autoplay. We are SO TIRED of autoplay.

(Thanks to Le Petomane and Bruce Pingree)

BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY

Chatham Residents Push Back Against Proposed Chuck E. Cheese

Autoplay.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson and Jay Brandes)

 
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