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June 16, 2017

GOOD ADVICE

So I went to Gilbert's, a wonderful local Cuban bakery, and at the bottom of the blackboard listing the special offerings was this statement, which I guess makes as much sense as anything this year:

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If you ate all of that you would be going immediately.

I have lawn seats for the festival. Don't quote me but, 50 to 60,000 expected and as I sit right now contemplating, four porta potties are secured.

Take that, Grape-Nuts!

Going irregular can be...uh...painful.

(When someone tells you that you are full of it, it's probably because you haven't gone.)

Try eating more fiber. In the South, eating okra will help keep you regular.

That 'ganash' is pretty irregular.

" Put a fiber in your tank. "

Le Petomane, okra is good but livermush will really make you more regular. I happen to live in the livermush capital of the world. I keep hoping the Rock Bottom Remainders will play at one of our annual festivals but I haven't seen them yet.
I can't remember the last time I dove into some chocolate mousse.

Why go regular in any year?

I go decaf. My car goes high test.

Is that supposed to dissuade you from having the prune Danish?

This may be one of those convoluted translations that don't make sense unless you translate literally. For example, in Miami you can say "For just the flies" and know they mean "por si las moscas" an expression which means "just in case". I know, I know, but welcome to Miami.

Hmmm. Make that "for yes the flies".

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