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May 03, 2017

WE SAW THEM OPEN FOR THE MOLE NUKES

Man held 'hostage' by car-blocking turkeys in Georgia

You know who was behind this.

(Thanks to Jon Harris and Bob Brogan)

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This isn't why we need flying cars NOW!

And time travel eventually

Those terrorist bastards.

I blame Erdogan.

I hate it when I'm stopped by C-blocking turkeys.

If this had happened to one of my Georgia relatives those turkeys would have been on the table for dinner, iykwim.

AITYD

nursecindy nailed it.

This happens every day on the roads around where I live. Yesterday morning 10 turkeys were blocking my driveway.

The key is: don't stop. Keep moving (albeit slowly) and the turkeys will move out the way -- surprisingly quickly when they need to.

I'm pretty sure I still have Car Blocking Turkeys first album.

"As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could drive!"

No, doesn't sound right.

And some of them are downright mean!

This happens with peacocks in my friend's neighborhood (Florida, naturally). They're EVERYWHERE and they travel in packs. And they scream all night. I don't know if they're good eatin' but if I were her, I'd give one a shot.

I had seen their type before.

They chivvied the helpless old man from one corner of the lot to another; wherever he fled, there a hulking turkey loomed. He couldn't have won with a pocketful of aces. They were having a high old time; but there was one thing they hadn't counted on.

Me.

I stepped out of the gloom and seized one by the neck; his short, loud gobble was cut off by a sharp, gurgling crack. The rest of the crew didn't wait to see the next item on the program, but vanished into the dark places of the city. I went to the man and he rolled his window down.

"Thanks, mister", he said, in a quavering voice. "I never know where those turkeys may lurk". "Forget it" I said. "This town has needed cleaning up for a long time. And from now on, today's lurking turkey is to-morrows turkey jerky"

(Selection from the Mickey Spillane papers, unfinished Mike Hammer novel)

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