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May 05, 2017


4:14 p.m. A Columbia Falls man reported that his neighbor’s dog is a jerk.

Read them all.

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)


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All fines for having a dog who is a jk should be paid with iTunes gift cards.

Jerk of a Dog opened for a puffy Neil Young.

Snork @ 'Not My Usual Alias'

Using my detective skills, honed to razor-sharpness by years of not only watching but careful note-taking during reruns of CSI, Columbo, and Murder, She Wrote (Season 7 now available on DVD), I've determined that these seemingly random acts may actually be related. Now, to follow my hunch, I'm going to need some additional information, such as the names of the books in the gully, the stage the moon was in that night, and a saliva sample from the jerk dog. Make that "alleged jerk dog".

There are eight million stories in the Naked City. These beat all of them.

. The undeterred burglar finally got into the house and was now making a scene.

Reality TV. sell the rights and buy more iTunes gift cards.

(And you know, that IS what the 'burglar' was after!)

undeterred... not to be confused with undie t*rd.


"9:38 a.m. A Kalispell man found some weird-looking mushrooms."

Nobody knows the truffles I've seen....

I had no idea the IRS would take an iTunes gift card for payment. I am the proud owner of a Chihuahua and she is definitely a jerk. In fact earlier today one of my neighbors brought some dog food over that her dogs wouldn't eat and my jerk of a dog tried to bite her.
Flathead County should really be relocated to Florida.

I'm still waiting for a David Lynch movie on Flathead Co. There's probably too much material....

Flathead County.

Where a black dog stands in a green field, another dog is a jerk and rogue cows fade into the fog. Shadowy men play with guns, but the police are called because trash smells.

Is it a real place or just a state of mind?


You are now entering the Flathead County Zone. Where dogs are jerks, burglars take hours to break into your house, then refuse to leave. The library is in a gully and taxes can be paid with iTunes gift cards. All of this will make sense after you eat some of the weird-looking mushrooms.

Let's face it: If Flathead County didn't exist, someone would have to invent it!

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