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May 17, 2017

UNDOUBTEDLY HEADED FOR FLORIDA

Drunk Driver Crashes into Heineken Offices

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

ART UPDATE

This is pretty great.

(Thanks to Clayton Carroll)

FLORIDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Woman with meth in bra reports buying drugs at Vero Beach yard sale

Key Quote: "I have to poop and I'm pregnant!"

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

WE SAW THEM OPEN FOR THE CLASH

Randy Spanish superslugs measuring six inches in length are hitting Britain's gardens - and pellets won't kill them

(Thanks to Le Petomane) 

Related: Sex-starved Jeremy the lonely 'lefty' is in a tragic love triangle after his two mates leave him to procreate with each other

(Thanks to Jan in Grimsby)

SPORTS UPDATE

Someone threw a skinned duck onto the ice during Game 3 between Predators and Ducks

This has been your Sports Update.

(Thanks to Bill Hudgins)

WHO SAYS ROMANCE IS DEAD?

Not this blog.

(Thanks to Not My Usual Alias)

WAR CLOUDS ARE GATHERING

Boar chases British ambassador in Austria

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

BOLO

Leeds police hunt 'giant penis' costume man after assault

(Thanks to Jan in Grimsby)

TIME FOR U.N. ACTION

A charity bookstore in Wales has more copies of The Da Vinci Code than it knows what to do with.

(Thanks to The Perts)

SHE WAS RELEASED AFTER THE LIZARD PRODUCED A VALID FLORIDA LICENSE

Woman drove drunk with bearded dragon lizard in her bra, authorities say

(Thanks to Stan Ruth and Lisa Aschkenasy)

PUKEKOHE TRAFFIC ADVISORY

The clown, from a nearby circus, had come loose in winds early on Wednesday morning and was blocking Mill Rd, one of the main roads into Pukekohe, a Fire Service spokesman said.

(Thanks to Ralph)

SHE WON'T GET FAR WITHOUT MILK

Girl Scout leader on the lam after stealing $15,000 worth of cookies

(Thanks to PirateBoy and Le Petomane)

THEY SEEM TO BE HITTING IT OFF

Austin man sues date for texting during movie

(Thanks to Janice Gelb, Rob Simbeck, Jim Kenaston and Layla)

 
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