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May 09, 2017

OR MAYBE THEY'RE JUST HARD TO SEE

Japan has a ninja shortage.

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

THIS JUST IN

Dodge City penis pump maker to pay $1 million over fraud claims

(Thanks to Kevin Smith)

TOTALLY PLAUSIBLE

Police in dry Indian state blame rats for drinking 900,000 litres of seized moonshine

(Thanks to Wolverine)

THIS BLOG EQUALS APPROXIMATELY 40 BLACK GIANT SQUIRRELS

Your Weight In Animals

(Thanks to Jon Harris)

SPORTS UPDATE

Jim McElwain Says That's Not Him Nude And Humping A Shark

This has been your Sports Update.'

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

For the record: It was also not this blog.

APOCALYPSE UPDATE

Neiman Marcus selling $1,425 pair of pre-destroyed shoes

(Thanks to many people)

THERE IS NOTHING LOWER

The night before the 20th annual Lions Club Trout Derby, someone broke into a storage trailer and stole raffle prizes, according to Chambersburg Police.

(Thanks to Al Barkafski)

STILL LIFE

Man leaves pineapple in museum, people think it's art

(Thanks to Jay Brandes)

GET THAT NOBEL PRIZE READY

The bizarre device - ideal for campers - allows you to boil water or cook meat at the same time as charging your device.

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

A 'SIX-FOOT TALL ANTHROPOMORPHIC PIECE OF FECES'

Mr. Floatie is retiring.

(Thanks to Jay Brandes)

HE WAS PROBABLY VISITING FLORIDA

Owner says Sam, the missing 17-foot snake, has returned home

(Thanks to Jane in Kenai)

CSI: TECUMSEH

Local police department offering to test your meth for gluten for free

(Thanks to Jay Brandes)

IT'S SCIENCE, DUDE

Cannabis could help reverse memory loss and stop mental decline

Autoplay.

(Thanks to James in NC and Jim Kenaston, who says "I can't remember whether these are the same scientists who did the tequila study.")

JERSEY

Mayor charged with corruption hosts cruise to pay legal fees

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

MEN:

Do not click here.

(Thanks to Layla)

IN FLORIDA, THIS WOULD BE TOTALLY OK

NH driver stopped with fake registration sticker made from cheese wrapper

(Thanks to Ralph)

 
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