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May 05, 2017

WE DO NOT PAY OUR FIREFIGHTERS ENOUGH

Man trapped in penis ring for ‘a couple of days’ cut free by firefighters

WE HAVE BEEN SEEING VARIATIONS OF THIS HEADLINE FOR AT LEAST 40 YEARS, AND SO FAR THE RESPONSE FROM THE PUBLIC HAS BEEN... CRICKETS

Scientists and chefs agree: It’s time to start eating bugs

(Thanks to Not My Usual Alias)

TIME FOR A BENEFIT CONCERT STARRING, AT MINIMUM, NEIL YOUNG

“Kardashians” TV Show Ratings Tanking, Caitlyn Jenner’s Book A Bust

(Thanks to Chris Elzi)

MEANWHILE IN FLATHEAD COUNTY

4:14 p.m. A Columbia Falls man reported that his neighbor’s dog is a jerk.

Read them all.

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)

THERE IS NOTHING LEFT TO BELIEVE IN

Miley Cyrus has quit weed and nipple pasties

(Thanks to PirateBoy)

YOUR EDUCATION ROUNDUP

Student Arrested After Crawling Into a Duct to Steal an Exam

Student wearing Star Wars costume causes evacuation at Wis. school

An engineering student at Saint Louis University did too well on a class assignment to build a toy gun, creating a model so realistic that it prompted a campus-wide lockdown and hunt for a possible shooting suspect.

Professor Wins Award for Writing Cheese Encyclopedia

(Thanks to Alkali Bill, Allen at Division,  Schumithecat, Jon Harris, Robert Lindsay, Ralph and Le Petomane)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Jupiter woman accused of aiming gun at neighbor over laundry dust

(Thanks to Ralph)

GUYS IN ACTION

A Pennsylvania man trying to scare away opossums by setting a fire has destroyed his home.

You know who was giving orders to the opossums.

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

FLORIDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Man Exposes Penis During Vero Beach Church Service

(Thanks to John Mayson)

HOUSEHOLD FINANCE MANAGER OF THE WEEK SO FAR

Woman SWALLOWS 7,000 dollars in desperate bid to hide cash during fight with husband

(Thanks to Rick Day and Le Petomane, who says "her hospital bill was more than $7,000.")

OTHER THAN THAT, IT WAS A LOVELY CEREMONY

Wedding Officiant Pukes Her Brains Out While Bride And Groom Are Exchanging Vows

(Thanks to Rick Day)

 
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