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April 27, 2017

YOUR MAN IS *THINKING*, THAT'S WHY

Why every mammal (including humans), takes 12 seconds to poop - but no word on why your man spends 15 minutes in the loo

(Thanks to Peter Metrinko and Craig Roberts)

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Well, nobody said it had to be 12 seconds IN A ROW now, did they?

Plus, how are we supposed to read an entire sports section in 12 seconds? Ridiculous.

There's a reason they call it the Reading Room.

Depends on a few other things, I should think. Like, is cable or satellite installed? Has the seat been recently warmed by another mammal? Is it playoff season? Can noises from inside be heard outside? Was the Year In Review recently released? All are important variables.

Depends are another matter entirely, Meanie.

It's 15 minutes without using the laptop and Wifi.

(And I sure hope I'm right about that, for all of us!)

Sometimes we just need a little me time, OK?

You take reading material with you that is why. Saves time.

In our house 'Classic Car' magazine's the culprit.

This is the answer to how fecal matter ends up on iphones.

This article does not take into account constipation, which, believe it not, affects all animals.

And that vidoe was realy sh!tty, IYKWIMAITYD.

That's right, funny man, and sometimes you get that nuclear poo - you know the one that has you reaching for a box cutter to give yourself an episiotomy. You just can't rush some things.

Nuclear Poo WBAGNFARB.

It's just nice and quiet in there.

I have in my bathroom a couple of books with trivia, called "Uncle John's Bathroom Reader". Engaging reading, but my cat hates when I stay there too long, and starts meowing and door scratching, etc.

Nuclear poo can cause an explosive situation.

I actually installed a magazine rack on the wall in mine.

Enough ALready, we hope!

Qaz, I have the same books in mine. I've also been known to take one of Dave's books in there with me but I always remove the dust jacket first so he can't see what's going on.

Some things you can't slow down, and other things you can't speed up. A wise woman told me this.

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