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April 13, 2017

DUH

Florida is worst state for road rage incidents involving guns, study says

(Thanks to Horace LaBadie)

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Bulletin: Sun rises in the East. Film at 11.

And the 2017 Said-With-A-Straight-Face award goes to: "The Florida Highway Patrol advises drivers to be focused and courteous when on the road."

Reminds me of a precious experience a few years back. I needed to cross the George Washington Bridge into NYC one morning, and I was prepared for a heavy traffic experience. When I got to the toll booths on the NJ side, I noticed new signs that had been recently installed, and they made me laugh and roll my eyes. They said words to the effect of "Please be courteous and alternately merge after paying the toll", because the much-widened toll plaza would neck down to five lanes immediately after the toll booths. They even had a smiley face.

Needless to say, traffic was brutal. As I emerged from the toll booth, the car in front of me and the one in the adjacent lane instantly began vying to get ahead of the other from the soon-to-merge lanes. As they inched forward, neither would give ground, and they stayed parallel, and you could see that they would soon be at the point where only one car could fit. Time passed, and they both still tried to best the other as they got closer and closer to bumping each other. It was slow-motion chicken.

Finally, one got in front of the other, whereupon that driver immediately threw his car into Park, got out, approached the other driver behind him, and started to punch him through the open window. Eventually he stopped and got back to his car. If there had been guns, there would have been gunfire.

It was the most strangely funny experience, and you could see it coming all the way. The signs are, of course, long gone.

Probably the worst for road rage incidents involving wet, rolled-up beach towels as well.

what do you do to stay calm in traffic>

"I fire a few rounds off, and that makes me feel powerful."

"I use my car as a weapon."

"Drugs. Lotsa drugs."

--Possibly edited out of the video?

Upholding a proud tradition: Driving while loaded.

One of two states, along with Oklahoma, that looks like a gun.

"Horace LaBadie"???

Blacques Jacques Shellacques, is that you? Drop me a line up in Montreal, eh?

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