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April 30, 2017

CLASSIC '97

Did The Blog blog this cover story? Or will someone be fired? 

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Wow! I've been to a few seminars like that!

I attended one a few years back, somewhere in Florida, where during a series of "informercial" type presentations, in which the "speakers" hawked their own programs, and one guy had a classic. For the low low price of $425 he would teach you how to use a calculator.

I joked with the couple at my table, next they'll have a "course" that tells you how to wipe your butt. We three roared (but not so loudly to disturb the very important shyster on stage.)

Twenty years ago, and the article is still very topical with mentions of Donald Trump and Korea. Good job Dave. Winning!

I'm now in a Laughter State.

I once attended one of those Franklin Covey "Get Organized!" lectures which were so popular a few years ago. They tried to sell me a $120 notebook. No computer, just a pad of paper with their logo and a zippered storage case, and a pen.

The pen leaked.

Can't believe this hilarious article is from 20 years ago. Tony Robbins just appeared last week at a local event here in the suburbs of NY. He was lucky to get $30 bucks a head to speak to a small group at the VFW hall.

There was no fire walk but I wonder if the organizers knew all that they were missing.

News reports from last year's Feel the Burn! lecture, where 30 people were treated for burns after walking over hot coals at one of his lectures.

The new book "Fire Walking for Dummies" is now available in the lobby.

This is going to make me late for Nap-ercise.

The real value in 'classic' columns like these is the reminder of how fads come and ago (as per the comment by Patty V about Tony Robbins today).

Also:

When I was a boy, my parents had to buy all my Little League candy from me, because I was too shy to sell it door-to-door.

This is quite literally me back in the 1960s. I mean, how hard can it be to sell those $1 bars of chocolate (which were pretty thick and hefty)? Yet I would usually stick the two cardboard boxes assigned to be by Coach Cook in the freezer, and when the money was due, my dad would mutter things about me and cough up the money to cover the bars.

Meanwhile, Tommy Rettig (one of the other kids on the team, not the child actor; in retrospect, possibly named after him, or I may just be misremembering the kid's name) usually sold 10 or more _boxes_ of bars (with I think a dozen bars to the box). Tommy is probably now retired and living on a large estate in the Hamptons. Me, I live in South Provo.

Just sell Grit, like Dad did when he was a boy.

I remember suppressing my extreme shyness long enough to sell all my Little League candy, and being so proud that I got rid of all 10. Then turning in the money, hopeful that maybe, just maybe, I'd be the top seller and win the bike. But Timmy Gallant always win, because his mom was a semi truck dispatcher, and took about twently cases to work and made all the truckers but it before she'd give them their routes. Plus she was hot and wore her shortest skirts that week, according to Timmy's dad, who liked to brag to the other dads.
So somewhere today, I'm guessing Timmy and his mom and her skirts are probably living the good retirement life, while his dad brags to the other old guys at the retirement village in Boca. Sigh... Maybe I'll go walk on some coals to cheered myself up. Cold ones; I'm not crazy!

Excellent article, and very funny, Dave!

Your past articles and books are great and gold(en)!

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