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April 07, 2017

TODAY'S HEALTH ADVISORY

You're probably brushing your teeth with fecal matter

This has been Today's Health Advisory.

(Thanks to Kevin Smith)

CSI: TOLEDO

Toledo man accused of chasing a relative with a hatchet and hitting the hood of a truck with the weapon by accident pleads not guilty

He certainly looks innocent to us.

Screen Shot 2017-04-07 at 8.38.36 AM

(Thanks to Patty Villanova)

FLORIDA LAW ENFORCEMENT IN ACTION

Florida police officer flees from mouse in CCTV footage

Nice touch: The sign on the wall that says "Nothing is not your job."

(Thanks to Ralph)

FORTUNATELY FOR THEM IT HAD A VALID FLORIDA DRIVER'S LICENSE

Florida students warned for bringing roadkill gator into dorm room

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson and Bob Brogan)

WHERE'D HE LEARN THAT?

The horse grabs hold of the woman's zipper and gleefully moves it up and down, showing off his skills at manipulating human clothing.

(Thanks to Bob Brogan, who notes that "this could be two guys in a horse suit.")

PUT YOUR HANDS TOGETHER

The Mucus-Shooting Worm-Snail That Turned Up in the Florida Keys

(Thanks to Alkali Bill, who says he saw them open for Captain Beefheart)

IN THAT CASE, SIR, YOU ARE FREE TO GO

Officials in Mississippi say a man nicknamed "Chopper" is in custody after biting a deputy and saying he "tasted good."

(Thanks to Andrew Mendez)

RAH!

A South Carolina college cheerleading team has been suspended during an investigation into allegations its members worked as strippers and escorts.

(Thanks to Kevin Smith)

THOSE TERRORIST BASTARDS

'Suspicious package' in Sweden was actually pile of stinky fish

(Thanks to Ralph)

TODAY'S THE DAY

You know what to do.

(Thanks to John Gregg)

IN THE TRUE SPIRIT

Norco Fire Company cancels Easter egg hunt due to ‘unruly crowds’

(Thanks to Al Barkafski)

 
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