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March 14, 2017

SMOOTH OPERATOR

A man whose company scoops up pet poop has been placed on probation for two years and fined $500 for buying fake Secret Service identification cards and badges online to impress women on a dating site.

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

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I guess "I'm in the Secret Service" does sound marginally more impressive than "I pick up dog poop" as a pickup line.

No, really... I'm in the Secret Service. I just use this truck for under cover work. By the way, do you mind if we make a couple stops on the way to the restaurant?

Side note: Is it true that J. Edgar Hoover tried unsuccessfully to start another branch of the FBI called "Victoria's Secret Service"?

Scoop Jockey ID cards can be very impressive in parts of the country.

Talk about pick-up lines ....

Defense attorney William Difenderfer

wasn't that a Tim Conway character ?

"I'm in the Secret Service, but I also have a side business that's really picking up".
Yep, that's a pick-up line that should work.

It's a short slide from dog poop to bull poop.

♫ Tonight the
Pooper scooper lights are gonna find me
Shining like the sun
(poop-p-per scoop-p-per)
Picking up some poo
(poop-p-per scoop-p-per)
Feeling like a 'number two'...
Tonight the
Pooper Trouper men are gonna fine me
But I won't feel blue
(sup-p-per troup-p-per)
'Cuz I picked up poo
(sup-p-per troup-p-per)
I hope my dogs' is on their shoe

Resume enhancement was mandatory. Fecal Transportation Engineer wasn't getting dates.

A Chinese company created and sold the fake id's?

I can't believe it.

No Chinese company would ever do that, right?

Didn't they also make the "Make America Great Again" hats?

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