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March 19, 2017


Birmingham golf course beaver kill a dystopian Caddyshack


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Time to bring in some gators ....

That's no way to treat beaver.

Hello, Mr. Beaver!

Sorry, premature (Hey, it happens!)

Why did they use a pitchfork?

A Beaver Cleaver would have worked much better....

I saw Backhoe Savagery open for the Beastie Boys. Not the best show....

Shortly after this story published, an EPA surveillance drone that was checking for surviving beavers experienced mechanical problems and crashed into a nearby pesticide spraying truck causing both the drone and truck to explode, polluting Roebuck Spring and destroying the entire species of fearless watercress darters.
George Armbuster, longtime groundskeeper for the golf course, who was the only eyewitness, told this reporter: "Things like this seem to happen a lot in these here parts".

Beavers are just big rodents, which fortunately are easier to remove from an area than rats. They are not hard to trap, but chasing one with a pitchfork would be a good Monty Python sketch, and the last technique any wildlife biologist would advise. This story involves golfers and groundskeepers, so I suspect alcohol was involved.

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