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March 14, 2017

A WELL-THOUGHT-OUT PLAN

Naked man becomes trapped in the wall of a sandwich shop after lowering himself down on a rope to go looking for a 'wishing well'

(Thanks to Patty Villanova and Le Petomane)

TO BOLDLY GO

German Scientists Grow Tomatoes in Urine in Anticipation of Future Space Expeditions

YEP, THEY'LL DO THAT

Villager arrested on DUI charge tells police officer her golf cart ‘just took off’

In that case, ma'am....

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

EDUCATOR OF THE WEEK SO FAR

Substitute teacher accused of drinking box of wine in front of students

(Thanks to Vernon Bowen, who says "Can't say as I'd blame her.")

COME FOR THE UNLIMITED SALAD BOWL, STAY FOR THE SOLICITATION OF CAPITAL MURDER

Cops: Couple Hired Hitman for Their Exes at Olive Garden

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson, who says "Morons. Everyone knows you hire your hitman at Chuck E. Cheese.")

SMOOTH OPERATOR

A man whose company scoops up pet poop has been placed on probation for two years and fined $500 for buying fake Secret Service identification cards and badges online to impress women on a dating site.

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

IF HE'D HAVE USED AN EIGHT-FOOTER, THEY'D NEVER HAVE FOUND HIM

Wanted felon finds 6-foot teddy bear doesn't provide adequate cover from the cops

(Thanks to Robert Lindsay)

WHEN POKÉMON CHARACTERS GO BAD

Police Tase Suspect in Pikachu Onesie During Brawl Outside A-Town Bar & Grill

(Thanks to Janice Gelb)

DUH. IT WAS FROM FLORIDA.

Mystery solved: Here's why a goat was behind the wheel at the Ottawa Hospital today

(Thanks to The Perts)

SNAKES MAKING NEWS

Cat Gets Snake Up Her Nose

(Thanks to Cassie Silvola)

Snake vomits an entire antelope

(Thanks to Rick Day)

 
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