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February 17, 2017

CLEARLY THESE SCIENTISTS NEVER WATCH MOVIES

Woolly mammoth on verge of resurrection, scientists reveal

(Thanks to Jon Harris, who asks "What could go wrong?")

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"It's Them! Them!"

"Calling Mr. Spielberg. Steven Spielberg, your sequel is ready."

Could we raise them for wool? My grandma would make sweaters out of it.

Wooly bully?

These creatures were native to North America. Where will they live if they are brought back? This is not something we want roaming around the edges of American highways.

On the good side mammoths are big and tasty. At least they were in Northern Exposure when a melting glacier uncovered one.

If you order yours right now, we'll throw in this handsome replica designer landline phone, at absolutely no extra charge. Just pay for shipping and handling. Don't wait!

Can Cro Magnons be far behind ?

Wild Thing wants to invite them over for a sleepover!

“'They keep the tundra from thawing by punching through snow and allowing cold air to come in,' said Church."

Except mammoths did not live on tundra; it's too wet and soggy in summer. They lived on the arid Mammoth Steppe, an almost extinct ecosystem. You can't recreate wild mammoths without their habitat.

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