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February 02, 2017

AS IF OUR FOREIGN RELATIONS WEREN'T ALREADY BAD ENOUGH

I got this in the mail today. It appears to be one of my books, but I don't know what language it's in. Romanian, maybe? For all I know it says "This American Dave Barry actually gets PAID to write this crap."

Book cover

BREATHE EASY, AMERICA

A ferret is recovering after being fitted with a pacemaker during a rare surgery at Kansas State University.

(Thanks to Alkali Bill)

OOPS

A police force carried out a controlled explosion on a "suspicious" car outside a station, not realising its own officers had parked it there.

(Thanks to Roberto)

FLORIDA ETIQUETTE

A former Palm Beach County assistant state attorney is facing charges that he struck three women at Duffy’s Sports Grill on Clematis Street because they were “ruining his dining experience” by being loud, according to an arrest report.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

OOPS

Red-faced mother tries to e-mail son's school saying she's 'keeping him off' but auto-correct makes her send a VERY rude message instead

(Thanks to Ralph)

SHE WAS HEADED FOR FLORIDA

Woman claims her cleavage got her thrown off flight - but airline says it was her 'behaviour'

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson and Le Petomane)

UPDATE

Bacon Shortage? Calm Down. It’s Fake News.

Whew.

(Thanks to Stephen Schoenwiesner)

WORLDWIDE ANIMAL CONSPIRACY UPDATE

Feral Bunnies Are Taking Over Las Vegas

(Thanks to Dave N.)

ALLELUIA, DUDE

74-Year-Old Man Accused of Getting His Entire Church High on Weed Cookies

(Thanks to Ralph)

THE FOOL

Omaha man helps rescue squirrel with head stuck in cereal bowl

(Thanks to John Mayson and Bob Brogan)

IT'S BEGINNING TO LOOK LIKE A GIANT ANIMAL CONSPIRACY

Octopus steals GoPro, selfie stick from tourist in Spain

(Thanks to Bob Brogan)

*BAD* FERN!

Pig may have accidentally set deputy's home on fire

(Thanks to Vernon Brown)

WE SAW THEM OPEN FOR THE WHO

Trio of disruptive deer trash New Brunswick convenience store

(Thanks to Mark Buckley)

THE EPIDEMIC WORSENS

Local Family Finds Rattlesnake in Toilet

And there were dozens more.

(Thanks to The Amazing Steve, Rick Day and Chris Knight)

 
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