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February 01, 2017

WHILE THE SO-CALLED 'NEWS MEDIA' BLITHER ABOUT THE SO-CALLED 'SUPREME COURT'

Nation's bacon reserves hit 50-year low as prices rise

(Thanks to MOTW, who says "Our nation has bacon reserves?")

CSI: PAWHUSKA

Police in northern Oklahoma say they've arrested a substitute teacher on an indecent exposure complaint after she reportedly did a cartwheel in front of students while wearing a skirt but no undergarments.

(Thanks to DaninDallas)

FLORIDAAAAAAA

An Ormond Beach man could face animal cruelty charges after deputies said he shot a cat that defecated on his yard last week.

(Thanks to Nancy Gill)

EW

Pet snake gets stuck in woman's stretched earlobe

DEMAND IS SOFT

A new report says sexxx-rated sirens like Nina Hartley, Riley Reid and Joanna Angel will soon be replaced by the holographs as cost-cutting hits the porn industry.

(Thanks to The Perts)

AND YOU THOUGHT MICE WERE A NUISANCE

Moose breaks into family home and poops all over their basement

(Thanks to Ralph, funny man, Le Petomane and Rick Day)

WINDOWS WILL DO THAT TO A PERSON

Jogger wearing only shoes found near Microsoft at 3:30 a.m.

(Thanks to Craig Roberts and Art Silverman)

FUN GALS!

An Arizona woman stabbed her boyfriend with a pair of scissors after he declined her request to engage in a threesome with a woman that the alleged assailant had met at a local dog park, police charge.

Woman 'attempts to murder her Craiglist date and eat his heart'

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson and Patty Villanova)

WE ASSUME IT'S PICTURES OF BUTTS

Dutch experiment with 'Tinder for orangutans'

(Thanks to Roberto, who says "Finally, something I could use.")

NOBEL PRIZE ALERT

Scientists perfect a microbiological recipe for artificial farts.

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

 
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