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May 26, 2015

HEALTH ADVISORY

Masturbating men ‘will find their hands pregnant in the afterlife,’ says Muslim televangelist

(Thanks to Ross)

'IT'S A POSITIVE THING AND IT'S STILL FUN'

Relay For Life team holds cornhole tournament to raise funds

(Thanks to Al Barkafski)

FRANCE ETC.

The shock comes after it was revealed the number of super-sized rats could reach 150 million in Britain by the end of the year. Poison Experts said they could be “unstoppable” and are urging authorities to allow a stronger poison to destroy the two-foot long monsters.

(Thanks to DaninDallas)

WISCONSIN TACKLES THE ISSUES

Legislature considers bill allowing hunters to wear pink in effort to attract more women

(Thanks to Charles Cates)

WE DON'T NEED NO STINKING REASONS

Top reasons beer is actually good for you

(Thanks to DaninDallas)

May 25, 2015

WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG

Researchers Say They're Getting Closer to Creating a Dino-Chicken

Welcome to the Barnyard of the Future!

Chris-pratt-velociraptor-jurassic-world

(Thanks to Rick Day)

WE MIGHT AS WELL JUST SHRED THE DAMN CONSTITUTION

Norristown law enforcement officers were called to the Trooper Road Wal-Mart to confront a man who was asking female customers in the store if he could take pictures of their feet, according to police.

(Thanks to Al Barkafski)

'SUSPECTED OF BEING UNDER THE INFLUENCE'

Naked Man Attempts to Steal Baby at Graduation

(Thanks to Charles Cates and Don Faber)

It's definitely a concern:

Dave -

While there is more than occasionally some overlap, I'm thinking that Naked Man is beginning to outstrip Florida Man in exposure. And Naked Man isn't confined to the Sunshine State - barely a day goes by that he doesn't pop up someplace. Maybe Florida Man's genes mutated?

Best, Bill Hudgins

THEIR BACKUP STRATEGY INVOLVES TEQUILA

Spiders use music to woo partners

(Thanks to Bill Hudgins and Monique)

BOLO

Police itching to find suspect in rash of genital flashers

(Thanks to Ralph)

I'M JUST GOING TO THE PUB, LUV

Sketching nude models is the hot new thing in English pubs

(Thanks to funny man)

FORE

Massive sinkhole forms at entrance of Missouri’s Top of the Rock golf course

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

CSI: TULSA

Man spotted urinating on a business fence

He "showed signs of being intoxicated" (see photo for signs).

(Thanks to Stan Ruth)

FRANCE ON HIGH ALERT

A giant kangaroo with 'massive pecs' is terrorising the streets

(Thanks to DaninDallas)

DOES THIS MEAN I CAN STOP PAYING TAXES?

So apparently I've been deceased since 2001.

(Thanks to funny man)

HAVE A GOOD MEMORIAL DAY

But please remember -- and tell your kids -- why we observe it.

Flags

Flags at Rockefeller Center last night. (Photo by Michelle Kaufman)

Update: I see judi already put a Memorial Day post up, but I'll leave this one, too, because it can't hurt.

BETTER FIX YOUR OWN BURGERS TODAY

The local In-And-Out's gonna be busy.

(Thanks to Charles Cates)

MEMORIAL DAY

Have a safe and happy holiday, and remember.

May 23, 2015

THE YOUNG GENERATION

Today we're in New York to celebrate Dylan Maxwell Barry's first birthday. Here are some of his toys. Guess which one is his favorite.

20150523_115858.jpg

BE ON THE LOOKOUT

The Residents Are Missing Another Eyeball

(Thanks to Gargoyle Socks)

INCREDIBLY, HE DOES NOT LIVE IN FLORIDA

Pantsless man attacks police dog

(Thanks to Al Barkafski)

FLORIDA

Rescuers bring naked man down from raised railroad bridge in Fort Lauderdale

(Thanks to Rick Day)

GUYS

These Insects Compete Using Their Spiked Penises

(Thanks to DaninDallas)

May 22, 2015

THAT'S ONE POSSIBLE LESSON

Man swallows hamster in front of children ‘to show how dear life is’

(Thanks to Judy B.)

BADA BING

Two Drug Enforcement Administration agents illegally worked double duty by operating a New Jersey strip club on the side, federal prosecutors charged Wednesday.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

 

WE SAW THEM OPEN FOR SONIC YOUTH

Dead whistle pig tests positive for the plague

Thanks to Craig Roberts

WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?

Google's Designed an Intelligent Robot Teddy Bear That Can Recognize You

(Thanks to DaninDallas)

THIS IS EXACTLY WHY WE HAVE THE DEATH PENALTY

Museum's stolen bonsai tree recovered, but severely pruned

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)

CSI: TRAVERSE CITY

Beer-drinking man wearing scuba gear causes disturbance at McDonald's restaurant

(Thanks to Geoff Scott)

TOTALLY UNDERSTANDABLE

He was angry about the flight being overbooked and decided to take his clothes off at the gate

(Thanks to Rob Simbeck and Bill Hudgins)

HAS THE SUPREME COURT BEEN ACTING WEIRD?

Nine brains inexplicably appeared earlier this week along a street in a St. Lawrence County village. How the brains got there and where they came from remains a mystery.

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

OY VEY

Kosher Vibrators?

(Thanks to Charles Cates)

FRANCE ON HIGH ALERT

Experts say weather conditions have created perfect storm for a wasp invasion

(Thanks to funny man)

WE'RE HOPING SHE'S NOT AN AIRLINE PILOT

Brazilian Woman Can Now Legally Masturbate At Work

(Thanks to Charles Cates)

SHH

Fish Can't Have Sex With All That Traffic Noise

(Thanks to Ralph)

May 21, 2015

TALL, GRANDE OR VENTI?

Drinking coffee can give you better erections, says study

(Thanks to funny man)

WE BLAME GLOBAL CLIMATE CHANGE

Cartwheeling Spider, Corpse-Hoarding Wasp Among Bizarre New Species

(Thanks to Bill Hudgins, who claims Corpse-Hoarding Wasp open for Cher.)

SEND THEM BOTH TO WASHINGTON

Man goes to court with stuffed owl as his lawyer

(Thanks to funny man)

IF YOU OWN A FERRY SERVICE...

...don't ask the public to name the ferries.

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

OTHER THAN THAT, IT WAS A LOVELY AFFAIR

Feces rains on Pennsylvania sweet 16

(Thanks to Bob Brogan)

WHY YOU SO RARELY SEE PYTHONS IN THE HOUSEWARES DEPARTMENT

Python Recovering After Surgery to Remove BBQ Tongs

(Thanks to Kevin Smith)

This blog once had a memorable experience involving a snake and barbecue tongs.

May 20, 2015

THERE IS NO GOOD REASON FOR THOSE THINGS TO BE IN CIVILIAN HANDS

Police say a Pennsylvania woman in "an outrage of jealousy" attacked her 82-year-old boyfriend with a hacksaw and a model airplane.

APPARENTLY THEY'RE OUT OF DYNAMITE

Two Rotting Whales in Pacifica Torn Apart, Buried After Neighbors Complain of Stench

Key Quote: "It's solid maggots. They're just raining down off the thing."

(Thanks to Charles Cates)

THINK WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF YOU DRANK TWO

A beer a day is 110-year-old Nebraska man's secret to a long life

(Thanks to West Coast Rod)

SEND THESE SCIENTISTS TO WASHINGTON

Scientists cure disorders in mice by resetting their brains

(Thanks to coscolo)

WHAT'S THAT SMELL?

A bus powered by cow manure has set a land speed record for a regular bus by driving at 77mph.

(Thanks to Charles Cates)

THE HAPPIEST PLACE ON EARTH

An Ohio man is behind bars after a drunken rampage at Walt Disney World's Fort Wilderness Resort in Florida ended with him crashing a golf cart into a pier and then almost drowning in a lake, deputies said.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

THIS CANNOT BE GOOD

Bacteria recreating medications … in sewer systems

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)

GET THAT NOBEL PRIZE READY

World’s First Gin Made Using Ants

(Thanks to Ralph)

GO FIGURE

West Texas country music festival Crude Fest leads to drunk man stabbed in butt

(Thanks to funny man)

 
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