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March 24, 2015

WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?

Scientists splice mammoth genes into unsuspecting elephant

(Thanks to The Perts)

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This is a Jurassic Park 3 tie-in, right?

Father Elephant: " Well, he didn't get all that from MY side of the family. "

In the latest DNA news, scientists are crossing an elephant with a rhino.

What to call it?

Elephino.

Elephanado.

Mastaphant.

elemoth

mammaphant

mAYBE THIS WAS FUNDED BY REPUBLICANS LOOKING FOR A MORE HIP SYMBOL?

Whatever happens it will have long hair and huge poops.

Cue "Tusk" by Fleetwood Mac....

Suspecting elephants just wouldn't stand for this and nobody wants them to put their foot down.

May I point out a couple of things...

1. The mammoth is NOT a missing part of the current ecosystem. It was a part of an ecosystem that existed thousands of years ago.
2. Someone please explain how hundreds (thousands?, millions?) of ginormous animals that produce body heat and methane kept the tundra COLDER.

Let sleeping dogs lie. Dead mammoths, too.

Hasn't this already been done with lawyers and weasles?

The male of the hybrid species will have three testicles...leading scientists to ponder the eternal question:

Q: What do you do with a mammoth with three balls?

A: Walk him, and pitch to the raptor.

K -- so many snorks, so little time

Gargoyle Socks: The short answer is that mammoths and other herbivores maintained a grassy steppe vegetation, which reflects more heat back into the atmosphere. When they were wiped out by humans or something else, the vegetation changed to today's forest and muskeg. For more info, see this.

A questionable alternative theory is that all those woolly bodies piled up as great insulation.

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