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March 25, 2015

EROTIC FICTION: HAS IT GONE TOO FAR?

Yes.

(Thanks to Janice Gelb)

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Sequel

Hole-punched: Tenderly Beaten into Ecstasy

Steel yourself for the worst.

I see they recommend Taken by the Tetris Blocks!

Surely she isn't implying that Microsoft has anything to do with this, what with her use of thier trademarked intellectual property and her reference to "the world's biggest technology company".

And speaking of blurb, what an amazing choice of words:

"So when the world’s biggest technology company offers to fly her to a remote location and investigate an alien artifact, all by herself, she’s all like “I’ll do it!”"

I'm all like, "A++!" Okay, maybe it's more like "C++". All this confusion makes me want to Bash something.

It looks like you're writing a short story for the purpose of laughing at people who buy it. Would you like help?

Clippy's a versatile lover; can be a dot, a hovercraft, a dog, Will Shakespeare...

I'm a little behind on this. Just what is an 'alien artifact'?
OK, it has to be Al Gore.

But, ... what's he doing with (apparently) randy paperclips? Did he invent them too?

Entirely too much like reading the news from Washington.

The picture of the author say it all.

Back cover blurb: "She Worked at Staples, So He Knew She Was Easy"

@normnuke - Al in Al Gore is short for Alien. Little trivia.

OK, I'm old. What version of Microsoft Office (TM, all rights reserved. Objects in mirror are closer than they appear. Floss) used that little clippy guy?

Whatever it was, I remember the joy I had on the day I got to reformat that server!

That *that*, Mr. Gates!

They want to turn this into an audio book. They're looking for someone who speaks in a clipped voice.

To quote from the Amazon page: "It’s for super mature audiences only."

I think that's why we're all here...

After some googling, I found this Dave Barry quote that indicates that Al's first name is Albert.

"Of course, George Bush has been busy, what with the Persian Gulf, the economy, bonefishing, etc. And there is speculation about Mario Cuomo running. But there always has been speculation about Mario Cuomo running. A large portion of the Rosetta stone is devoted to ancient Egyptian speculation about Mario Cuomo running. You also hear talk about Sen. Albert Gore, but the U.S. Constitution clearly states in Article III, Section 4, Row 8, Seat 5 that the president cannot be somebody named ''Albert.''

''Arnold, maybe,'' states the Constitution. ''But not Albert.''"

The Amazon reviews of this are hilarious. From the authors profile:

"Leonard Delany writes from the heart, instead of wasting time with research or experience."

I think someone's having a laugh. Fine, I'll have one too.

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