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August 23, 2014

'SHE MAY HAVE BEEN HIGH ON STIMULANTS'

Naked Oregon woman climbs flagpole, wraps herself in flag

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

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Send her to Washington! All the scumbags like to wrap themselves in the flag.

The cops are always jumping to conclusions.

Maybe she's just a patriot.

She must be thinking that she was dancing with her flagpole.

Did anyone salute?

*snork* @ steve

we're gonna need Much more vaseline

"AMERICA, F**K YEAH!"

...I got nothing.

:P

Isn't this what our Founding Father's fought for? I think she may have been on more than stimulants. We were having a slow night in the e.r. when a very naked young woman walked in and asked to see the doctor. I asked her where her clothes were. She said she had taken them off because her neighbor had put witchcraft in her clothes. She also said she had been impregnated by Satan. My coworker said that was impossible because her ex-husband was in Ohio so he couldn't have impregnated her. I told her I understood and it sounded like she'd had a pretty sh*tty day. (We use to kill in the e.r.) When her drug screen came back she tested positive for pretty much any drug you could think of.

Just her version of the "Star" Spangled Banner.

Yer Honor, my client was merely sleeping au natural when she was awakened by the smell of smoke. As any civic minded citizen would, she grabbed a fire extinguisher and went to see if she could be of any help. Not being able to locate the fire, she climbed on top of the bank and then onto the flagpole to get a better view so she could locate the fire. Once at the top of the flagpole, she saw the blaze and the firefighters and realized that her assistance was not needed. At this point she realized in her civic zeal that she had neglected to clothe herself and, not wanting to upset people with her nakedness, covered herself with the nearest usable object, a flag.

Yer Honor, in a just world the authorities would be praising this young woman for her civic mindedness and consideration for other people - instead the police have sent her for a mental health evaluation. What type of country have we become that trying to help others is considered to be a sign of mental illness?

Was this a Candid Camera stunt? Or were they filming
Portlandia 4.0?

Because I gotta tell ya, that flag pole and flag are
gonna be famous!

"...she was holding a lighter and a fighter extinguisher." She needed more altitude to extinguish fighters.

Saaaaaaaaaaaaalute.

You all are going to need to realize that most women in P town are crazzzzey. And all you losers in Cali should not move here, we don't bloody want you.

When that day comes and I'm arrested nude, atop a flag pole, I want Max to defend me.

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