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August 26, 2014

KANSAS: LAND OF FREEDOM

Why it's legal to walk naked in Topeka

(Thanks to funny man)

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"If they weren't aware, you know there are so many laws, we know we have like 12 volumes, 20-some volumes of code, the criminal code is 21 dash whatever," said Ramon Gonzales Jr. "I think it should be reviewed, but you know if its freedom of expression, now you are getting into freedoms that we all share."

He's your articulate state legislator and police chief, District 47. Be proud!

That's some stellar reporting right there.

"But, please, Professor Marvel, why can't Toto and I see the Crowned Heads of Eur*AAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!*"

so you can go to Kansas topekat nudies ?

Oh, give me a home where the naked can roam,
Although not with themselves play,
Where seldom is heard a discouraging word
And get sunburnt if it's not cloudy all day.

Butt Naked In Kansas opened for The Bobby Fuller Four.

The only thing that came to my mind when viewing the accompanying photo, is that the nudist stroller was probably going to pick up a fine crop of ticks and chiggers; the sunflowers being tall enough to tickle the jaywalking Jayhawker's privates and all.

Hopefully the nudists will start strolling around the Westboro Baptist Church. The resulting spectacle would be awesome.

Roam, roam on the range
Where the nekkid and antelope play (but not with each other, NTTAWWT)
Where seldom is heard a discourag--- OMG! Didja see that?! word
And it’s legal to roam there that way

When I was a girl you never saw one of those. These days they are apparently growing wild.

Sorry. Her husband came home at the worst time. I had to go out a window.

"walking naked in topeka" - wasn't that a glenn campbell song?

Glen Campbell also sang "I Keep It Hid," but I could see this guy singing "Wichita Lineman."

Beware of the naked man.

I thought it was Patsy Cline who sang "walking naked in topeka".

how about this one:

I walk alone, walk au natural.
I walk alone, walk au natural.
You know why I walk alone? Cause I don't dress myself.

Every morning before breakfast, no shirt and pants waiting for me.
Just the ol' SPF 50, that's all I ever need.
'Cause I walk alone (yeah), walk au natural.
You know why I walk alone, I just don't dress myself.

The other day I got invited to a costume party, but I stayed home instead.
Just me and old John Thomas, and his brothers Cajone and Nad.
And we walked alone (yeah), walked au natural.
And you why I walk alone, 'Cause I won't dress myself.

Well my whole family done give up on me,
The just think I'm kinda sick.
The only one who will hang out with me,
Is my dear old Uncle Dick.
And we walk alone (yeah), walk au natural.
And I have to walk alone, 'Cause I won't dress myself

He faked to the left, faked to the right
grabbed the purse from her hand
"Someone stop me!" he cried as he faded from sight
Won't nobody help a naked man?

Ms. Shamblin sounds like the excitable type.
My daughter handled it better when she was in college.
She said, "I saw a naked guy waling on Main Street today, Daddy, but it's OK 'cause I didn't see his junk."

Not everything that is inappropriate should be illegal. It could have been worse -- if he had been wearing golf pants.

It's actually "buck naked," but I guess the local folks aren't up on the vernacular.

Moving in silent speculation, keeping an eye on his prostrate gland
A hypothetical destination, say, who is this naked man?

Well, the leaves have come to turning and the goose has gone to fly,
And bridges are for burning, so don't you let that yearning pass you by.
Naked man, naked man walks.
Any other man stops and talks but the naked man walks.

I was totin' my butt along the dusty Topeka, Kansas road,
When along came a semi with a high and canvas-covered load.
"If you're goin' to Topeka, Mack, well, with me you can ride."
And so I climbed onto the step and he made me cover up my hide
He asked me why my butt just glowed with so much dust and sand
And I said, "Listen, I've traveled every road in this here land!"

[Chorus:]
I've been everywhere, man.
I'm naked everywhere, man.
Crossed Kansas buck naked bare, man.
I've farted mountain air, man
Of travel I've had my share, man.
I've been everywhere.

DON'T LOOK, ETHEL!

"Unless someone is exposing themselves or a sexual organ to gratify or arouse someone other than them self, it's really not anything against the law," said Jones.

Wait! What? ...to gratify or arouse someone other than them self (sic)...

So if he's gratifying or arousing himself in public, it's okay?!?! Topeka is giving San Francisco a run for its money.

MOTW ~ Too late. She'd already been in-censed.

I'm just a naked traveler, a great historical bum.
Without any clothing, out of history I have come.
I streaked the Rock of Ages, that was in the year of one,
And that's about the nudest thing that man has ever done.

I was naked in the Garden of Eden, that was in the year of two.
Refused to wear no fig leaf, to give the Lord his due.
I'm the man who discovered how to moon the rising sun
And that's about the nudest thing that man has ever done.

I was naked on the Pyramids, the Tower of Babel too,
I wore my birthday suit when the ocean let the migrant children through.
I seen a million pants, and never wore a one,
And that's about the nudest thing that man has even done.

I flashed the daring Roman, I flashed the daring Turk.
Streaked Nero's army with thirty minutes work.
I've seen the greatest tailors and refused them every one,
And that's about the nudest thing that man has ever done.


*Snork* at MOTW & Ms. Flukey!

Personally, I don't see what the fuss is. We all have bodies. This guy wasn't doing anything sexual, he was just walking around.

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