Here is where we stand:
Last episode, Jack Bauer -- in as fine a demonstration of throwing both halves of a mother-son terrorist team out a fifth-story window as you are likely to see – rappelled down to the terrorist lair and defenestrated Evil Terror Mom and Ian. Jack also steered the last drone missile – which was heading for Waterloo Station – into the Thames, thereby saving thousands of lives, although many innocent carp were vaporized. It was a vintage performance by Jack, who also in this episode shot and punched out numerous individuals, including a security guard, which was kind of like LeBron James going one-on-one with Dr. Ruth Westheimer, but DAMMIT THERE WAS NO TIME.
Evil Terrorist Mom wanted to blow up Waterloo because she found out that President William Devane was still alive. Jack tricked her with the help of Chloe, who, armed with only a laptop and operating from a pub – where, tragically, she did not have to tase anybody – was able to hack into the drone feed, locate the terrorist lair, tell Jack where the dedicated electrical junction was located and just generally show why we used to love her a lot before she started applying mascara with a trowel.
Speaking of highly competent women: Agent Kate Morgan assisted Jack by engaging in a gun battle with the Evil Terrorist Mom’s henchpersons during which at least 17 million bullets were fired at her from close range. Incredibly, none of these bullets struck Agent Kate Morgan. So fortunately we have not lost Agent Kate Morgan.
In the mole subplot, which apparently now is the main plot, Jack is now chasing Steve Navarro, who ran off with the Device, which he is supposed to turn over to the creepy corpse-looking hackmaster guy, who it turns out is is getting it on with Chloe. Ew.
Edgar is still dead.
We would truly love to join you tonight, but tragically we are in Brazil engaging in hardcore journalism. However you are as always welcome to share your comments down in the comments section. And as always we urge you to stick around afterward for the miraculous recap by The Amazing Steve.
(DITTO - SEE THE LAST POST FOR MEA CULPAS)
UPDATE FROM DAVE: I have no idea what happened here, but I believe it was my fault. So you may rest assured that Judi will be fired.