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June 30, 2014

24

Here is where we stand:

Last episode, Jack Bauer -- in as fine a demonstration of throwing both halves of a mother-son terrorist team out a fifth-story window as you are likely to see – rappelled down to the terrorist lair and defenestrated Evil Terror Mom and Ian. Jack also steered the last drone missile – which was heading for Waterloo Station – into the Thames, thereby saving thousands of lives, although many innocent carp were vaporized. It was a vintage performance by Jack, who also in this episode shot and punched out numerous individuals, including a security guard, which was kind of like LeBron James going one-on-one with Dr. Ruth Westheimer, but DAMMIT THERE WAS NO TIME.

Evil Terrorist Mom wanted to blow up Waterloo because she found out that President William Devane was still alive. Jack tricked her with the help of Chloe, who, armed with only a laptop and operating from a pub – where, tragically, she did not have to tase anybody – was able to hack into the drone feed, locate the terrorist lair, tell Jack where the dedicated electrical junction was located and just generally show why we used to love her a lot before she started applying mascara with a trowel.

Speaking of highly competent women: Agent Kate Morgan assisted Jack by engaging in a gun battle with the Evil Terrorist Mom’s henchpersons during which at least 17 million bullets were fired at her from close range. Incredibly, none of these bullets struck Agent Kate Morgan. So fortunately we have not lost Agent Kate Morgan.

In the mole subplot, which apparently now is the main plot, Jack is now chasing Steve Navarro, who ran off with the Device, which he is supposed to turn over to the creepy corpse-looking hackmaster guy, who it turns out is is getting it on with Chloe. Ew.

Edgar is still dead.

We would truly love to join you tonight, but tragically we are in Brazil engaging in hardcore journalism. However you are as always welcome to share your comments down in the comments section. And as always we urge you to stick around afterward for the miraculous recap by The Amazing Steve.

(DITTO - SEE THE LAST POST FOR MEA CULPAS)

UPDATE FROM DAVE: I have no idea what happened here, but I believe it was my fault. So you may rest assured that Judi will be fired.

Comments

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Wait, does this mean we need to repost all of our comments from tonight's episode on this post now? :)

This is worse than we thought: Apparently the Override Device took out TypePad?

Hmmm. How many threads can we hide tonight's under? We need a perimeter! And another drink ... ;-)

LOL, on the Dave Barry live-blogging of 24, Gennita Low made reference to "Chloepatra eyeliner," causing mine to run. Mary Lynn Rajskub

— danceswithvowels (@craptard) July 1, 2014

So... is there a tracking device on the Amazing Steve? Where will we find his synopsis? Can anyone out there triangulate his whereabouts? We could set up a ... perimeter...

Well, all I can say is that my enjoyment of the show was considerably dimmed by not finding the bloggies until now. Someone's going to get thrown out of a window for this... :-)

ROCKIN01, it sounds like you are in a defenestrating state of mind...

Any my Internet was out! Almost done though...hang tight!

Previously on “24” - We learned: Sometimes Internet Theories are right; You should never go close to an open window through which you saw Jack Bauer swing past; Gravity is still a harsh mistress; Steve is now less mole and more road runner; Chloe and Adrian have apparently friend-ed each other on Facebook.

The following takes place between 8pm and 9pm –

8pm – Jack calls Kate and tells her that Steve is the mole. Jack is in hot pursuit, by walking very briskly, which is kind of a London thing to do.

Steve calls Adrian, who really wanted a new PS4, but has to settle for the override device. Steve's worried that Adrian won't like it, what with the dead terrorist blood all over it it, but agrees to meet him.

As soon as Adrian hangs up, he turns around, and Chloe is standing right there, wanting to know what's going on. At first it's a little hard to tell if she's upset or not because all the black makeup and her lopsided haircut makes it tough to read her facial expression. Adrian tries to justify it by saying that he's going to break into the world's arsenals and let everyone know the codes by making a quick post on Twitter. At first, Chloe is completely relieved, because Adrian, like most people, has only a couple of followers, and they're spambots. But then, he says he's going to post it on Facebook, and she realizes that since he friends everyone he can for about eight hours a day while he's waiting for computers to break into, the arsenal info could get a little more spread around than it should be. He even brings up her dead husband and son, but she looks really worried. They have an awkward hacker hug.

Creepy Spy Guy back at CIA calls Jack, who says there are these things called "passwords" that have some how locked him out of all the cameras that are around London, the same ones that they usually spy on everyone with. And gosh darn it, he's stumped. Jack tells him to work on it and send backup right away. Creepy Spy Guy says that sending tape backups won't help Jack, but he'll send some guys over to help Jack right away. Jack's previous brisk walk has now changed into a slow trot. Jack looks like he really regrets that Chloe isn't handling this.

8:06 pm – Steve emerges from an alley, and nearly gets hit by the ONE truck that’s we've seen on the streets since the beginning of the show… and what do you know, Jack just happens to be in the vicinity. Steve runs, pulls out a gun while he's running and happens across an army guard with a machine gun talking to someone right there on the street. The guy talking to the guard doesn't seem to think this is weird at all, a guy with a gun running in London, and he doesn't tell the guard he's about to get hit. Steve hits him, and grabs the machine gun the guard drops. Then, in fit of rage, Steve shoots some helpless beer kegs near Jack. Steve uses up all the bullets right away, throws the gun away and runs. Jack heads right after him, but not before saying a few words to the recently departed beer kegs.

More dark alley running. Steve and Jack pull their guns… Jack has Steve cornered! ….But no, Steve goes into Mole form and gets away.

Steve calls Adrian, while running at top speed. It's very lucky that Steve was an Olympic athlete in the "Making Phone Calls While Running At Top Speed" event. Steve arrives at the rendezvous point. Adrian tells him there's an envelope containing money, a passport, and a do not pass Go ticket waiting for him in a cement mixer. Adrian then instructs Steve to drop the override device in a slot in the wall behind him, which he does. When Steve asks where the getaway car is, he seems kind of surprised that Adrian has already hung up the phone.

We see Adrian and Chloe walk off at this point, but Chloe doesn’t look to happy about it. It looks like Chloe is going to change her relationship status to "it's complicated".

Steve runs, with Jack in hot pursuit. Steve runs the wrong way, and happens to go in the exact direction of the pursuit team that Creepy Spy Guy sent, even though he had no real good idea where to send them. Steve kneels down, and puts his hands up, hoping this means he'll be off the show this week. When he doesn't find the device on Steve, even after a brief massage, Jack takes off, leaving Steve to be arrested.

Jack runs to the nearby subway station, and looks around, but doesn't see anyone suspicious, except for the tons of people there. For some reason there weren't many people on the streets, because they all are down here, riding the escalators and subways. Jack sees Adrian head downstairs, and runs after him. Jack rushes down the escalator past all the people there just for the ride, and narrowly misses getting on the subway car that Adrian and Chloe are on. Jack tries to run down the subway station platform, thinking that matching the car's speed will slow it down, but it doesn't work. Adrian sees him, but Chloe is staring off at other people in the car, wondering what color makeup would feel like.

The train pulls away, and Jack calls CIA to have the train tracked to find out where the train tracks will lead the train so he can follow in its tracks.

COMMERCIAL

8:15 pm – It took five more minutes for Steve to be picked up from the ground off into one of the CIA cars. Meanwhile a walk-on extra tells Jack that the train he was chasing had the emergency break pulled. Jack is hopeful that the rest of the people on the subway car beat up Adrian for doing that, but since this is London, everyone was too polite to say anything. The extra tells Jack that two people left the train, and they have no way of tracking them.

Jack calls Kate to let her know Adrian has the device, and the Chloe is with him. Erik thinks that Chloe is a dirty stinking mole, but Jack isn't sure.

Erik and Kate are actually at makeshift CIA headquarters, where Erik immediately gives a speech about he's in charge, that Steve is a big doody-head, and that he's going to finally get better coffee for the office.

Kate asks Creepy Spy Guy to figure out what Jordan was looking for, and to promise to run off and die the way Jordan did.

Back that the embassy, President Heller enjoys an alcoholic beverage just as Audrey walks in. She nags him that he can't be taking his medication and alcohol because "believe me, it'll make you loopy insane! Woooooo!" She tells him that Air Force One is on the tarmac, and ready to go. He's unsure about this, and realizes she means the a copy of the movie on DVD, not the plane. Heller is disappointed that he didn't get an agreement about the drone bases. And that he didn't get to get blown up at the stadium, since no other president ever attempted that before. He tells her that he's going to resign, and the vice-president is going to need to take over.

Mark walks in during the middle of Audrey's scene with her father, and she almost breaks character because she's so upset. It turns out that Mark has a phone call from Erik. Erik tells the President that the absolutely secure facility they have wasn't absolutely secure enough to keep someone from stealing the override device. He also mentions that Jack happened to catch Steve, who was a mole. Also, that the override device has had its CPU overclocked, so now it can get past the basic firewall security that most countries have. Mainly because no one ever changes the default passwords. Jack's headed back to "interrogate" Steve. Heller tells Mark he's staying until they figure this out.

Creepy Spy Guy tells Kate and Erik that he found the information Jordan was looking for, which happens to completely clear Kate's husband. The same husband everyone and their brother was telling us for scene after scene that he had sold secrets to the Chinese. Kate tries to run after Steve as he arrives, but Erik stops her from "interrogating" him. Erik sends her to a private office, which is completely private, except for all the glass walls.

Jack, who has arrived with Steve, asks what's going on. Erik tells him, and Jack looks disappointed that Kate might actually get her husband back since he's not really the spy everyone thought he was. Also, that Steve was the guy really selling the secrets.

Erik wants to use enhanced interrogation techniques on Steve, but Jack says it won't work because Steve has a merit badge in interrogation resistance. Jack suggests using "Jack Bauer" interrogation techniques, which are much, much different – like the difference between Open Pit and Insanity Sauce. Jack's pretty sure he can scare the snot out of Steve. Erik tells him, "If you cross the line, I'm pulling you." Jack says, "Just so we're clear, I wasn't asking…that was me being courteous."

Jack goes to Kate, who is still clearly upset about what Steve did. And it turns out that her husband won't be getting out after all, since (yikes) he killed himself. Jack asks if she wants to step aside, since she's still very upset.

Steve is in the interrogation room, not wearing a shirt, because there's a "No-shirt, No-shoes, Interrogate" policy. We see that he's got some black Tic-Tac boxes glued to his chest, wirelessly hooked up to a device they're using to see if he's a jerk or not. It's registering that he is, so things are good to go as Kate and Jack walk into the observation room. Jack doesn't appear to be interested in observing. He goes in to talk to Steve, and tells everyone else to leave the room.

Jack tells Steve he knows all about what Steve did in his previous life as a mole. He says, this is only going to end in one way – the death penalty! Wait…maybe two ways. If Steve tells where Adrian is, then they can probably not do the death penalty, so there are two ways this might end. Jack says he'll keep it loose just in case there might be more ways this could end.

Steve is very unimpressed, and says he wants full immunity, a signed pardon, and a cheeseburger. He says he knows where Adrian is. Jack gives him one last chance, and Steve laughs this off. Jack decides to take matters into his own hands and … smacks Steve's hand a bunch of times. Not exactly a "Jack Bauer" move, but in Jack's defense it looked like he hit the hand really hard. A bunch of guards along with Erik, break up the fight. One of the guards clearly looks disappointed at Jack for not being more Jack-like. Kate is having none of this either, because she clearly wants to see Steve beaten up a lot more.

Erik tells Kate that he needs to make the case to the president that Steve might need immunity in order to find out where Adrian is. Kate looks extremely disappointed in Erik and Jack.

COMMERICAL

8:31pm – Mark tells his subordinate they're going to need an immunity deal drawn up and signed by the president. Mark decides not to forge the president's signature on this document, since the last time he did it the Russians found out about it. They continue down the hallway talking about this, until Mark realizes Audrey is at the other end. Too late! She saw them move. Mark does the brave thing and tells the subordinate to run and save himself. And also to get the document finished.

The first thing that Audrey says is, "I'm sorry I snapped at you." She doesn't say anything about the crying and barking. Mark's upset for another reason… He's still freaked out about Jack! All this hanging around Audrey has clearly rubbed off on Mark, and they spend a little while whining to each other… Even Audrey can't take this, and walks out.

Mark calls the Russian consulate guy in frustration, and tells him where to get Jack Mark says he'll send the secure code on Jack's phone to the Russians, and in exchange the Russians will pretend that Mark never forged the president's signature. They'll also pretend he's not a sleazy weasel, which will be tougher.

Adrian and Chloe get back in the car to head back to Adrian's new hacker hideout. He puts the bag carrying the device in the back of the car. Chloe's able to use the old "Put a coat over the bag and carry it away" combined with the "I have to pee" ruse to get the device out of the car, and herself away from Adrian.

This works so well, she can't even believe it herself. She so stunned that she flags down a passing truck, which is not nearly far enough away from Adrian. After a few bullets in the truck, it drives off without her. Adrian grabs the bag from Chloe, and they argue briefly, and he makes her get back into the car.

At the makeshift CIA operating room, Steve already has his hand bandaged, and asks for something for the pain. The doctor replies that he has to put up with the pain of what's going on in this story just like everyone else, and declines.

Kate, surprisingly walks right into the room, pulls a gun and smacks Steve around a little bit, and frankly a lot more effectively than Jack did earlier. She really looks like she wants to show how guns insert bullets into skulls, when Jack pulls a gun on her. Ordinarily, I'd say that this was Jack and Kate's early courtship ritual, but it looks more serious than that. She keeps repeating that she doesn't believe him, and scares him so badly he just blurts out that secret code he said he used in a tracking device he put on the override device. So, basically a secret device on another secret device.

She pulls away, and says, "Did you get that?" Creepy Spy Guy, in another room, runs a quick trace and…tada! Steve was telling the truth for once. Steve looks stunned that he was tricked like that. Kate tells him that she can't wait until he's executed for what he's done, that she'll be there, and she'll bring some popcorn.

Commercial

8:42 pm –Erik, settling right into his new job as the head guy, runs to find out what happened just before we went to commercial a few minutes ago, but is too late to be there. Jack just informs him that Kate got the info. Kate walks by Erik without saying a word. Erik, who appears to have been a good agent before being put in charge, doesn't seem to understand how he became so incompetent so quickly,

President Heller talks to some top military guys who also happen to be vacationing in the London area, but are here to brief him on what's going on. They consider it a big mistake for Heller to post about the existence of the override device on his blog, so he decides not to. Mark enters the room and says that they did everything they could to get the immunity deal ready, and that Steve should be talking any time now.

Heller informs him that Steve's already spilled his guts. Since Jack is involved, he had to say that he meant Steve told them everything, and there were no real guts involved. He also tells Mark that Jack is leading the team to get the override device, which really concerns Mark since he's got Russians leading the team to get the Jack Bauer.

On the phone, Jack tells Creepy Spy Guy that they're going to have to go into the Adrian perimeter from a bunch of different directions. Some will go in from the south, some from the east and west. Jack is considering coming in from underneath but might parachute in because it would add to the difficultly. Or he might just drive in with Kate.

Kate's being pretty quiet in the car, and regrets not believing her husband. She feels she's the one that caused his death. When she asks Jack how she'll live with that, he tells her that "you just do". Shooting a lot of bad people helps too. He tells her about his tale of revenge, and he seems to regret some of the shooting. He says then, you'll be able to forgive yourself.

Adrian and Chloe arrive at an abandoned tech lab, labeled "Abandoned Tech Lab". Chloe wants to know if everyone knows what he wants to do with the override device. He assures her that they'll all be happy to see her. They walk in, and either they were REALLY upset the Chloe was coming back and killed themselves, or someone else was there and killed them all. Or they're part of some weird override device cult.

Adrian's really upset, because he's never seen real, live, dead people before. One guy is still alive. Chloe tries to comfort him, but he doesn't look very comfortable.

…And in walks CHENG … Chloe recognizes him as soon as he walks in, and that's how we know who it is. Cheng brings a bunch of thugs, who all carry guns.

Cheng is very upset at Adrian for trying to sell the override device he was supposed to be developing for the him. Adrian swears it'll be better than the PS4, but Cheng doesn't believe him. Cheng recognizes Chloe, but Adrian is surprised Chloe knows him.

Chloe tells Adrian that Cheng is the previous head of Chinese security, who kidnapped Jack and Audrey, and tortured both of them. Chloe says this is probably fates way of letting Jack get even with Cheng, or it could just be an idea that the "24" writers came up with as a way to end the show in a satisfying way. Whatever it is, Cheng is one bad dude.

Cheng's upset that the device has changed. Adrian explains that Yates changed the override device to play Xbox games. Cheng suggests that Chloe switch it back. She refuses and so Cheng shoots Adrian in the leg. Chloe then agrees, because a holy Adrian would be even more self satisfied about giving out secrets. Also, a holey Adrian would be a bad thing, especially one with a hole in his head. He'd talk less… a lot less.

Commercial

8:53 pm – Mark tries to talk to the Russian consul, but only gets his voice mail after pressing through the voice menus twice.

Jack is on the way to Adrian still, and gets the exact coordinates from Creepy Spy Guy.

Back at the previous hacker hideout, the hideout is still there, it's just that the hackers are previous. Except for Chloe. She's smart talking to Cheng while he stands over her shoulder trying to give her advice about how to program.

All of the sudden, they drag Chloe away from her terminal, and one of Cheng's guys takes over. He's a hacker too, and immediately deletes the virus Chloe sneezed into the firmware. They just need a way into the firmware, which, for anyone who knows anything about computers is as silly as having to ask how to get a memory dump. Ha Ha!.... anyway…

Adrian doesn't think he'll make it out alive, and confesses to Chloe that her husband and child's death really was an accident… there was no one after Chloe in the first place.

Cheng's hacker guy to quits playing Nethack on the device, and tells Cheng that he's into Naval Command. Cheng says he's into that too, and realizes that the guy mean the computer server. Cheng says "Draft the order".

Cheng says they're almost done, walks up and shoots Adrian. Chloe goes crazy.

Outside, Jack and Kate quietly make their way to the previous hacker hideout, when a truck broadsides them! The truck is either from Miami or from Russia, because it's not following the rules of the road. Turns out, it's the Russians, because of the Russian they speak. Also turns out that they're ex-Russians because of the bullets Kate and Jack shoot. Another car arrives and shoots at Kate and Jack as they run off.

Inside, Cheng is ordering his hacker guy to send instructions to a nuclear submarine.

The nuclear sub gets a message to sink a Chinese carrier! They take no time at all carrying out the order, and firing the torpedoes. Someone's going to need a new Chinese carrier.

TIME'S UP!

NEXT TIME ON "24" – TWO EPISODES LEFT! AUDREY GIVING JACK ORDERS! FIRE! GUN ON MARK! MARK UNDER ARREST! CHINESE THREATS! SEE YOU NEXT TIME!


8 pages and over 3500 words… I'm gonna go lie down…

Awesome job Steve!

"Or they're part of some weird override device cult."

Yo, Adrian! It's possible to be too openminded with Mousy Cheng ...

Great fun as usual, The Amazing!

The Amazing Steve comes through again...bravo!

"MARK UNDER ARREST"--my, those are sweet words.

Snorks Gadzorks! Steve is the man!

..so there are two ways this might end. Jack says he'll keep it loose just in case there might be more ways this could end.

Jack tells Navarro when he was a lost boy, he really sucked. Hard. And he still loves blood and guts,

Bravo again Steve!

No matter how embittered Chloe was, would she really have fallen for Aidan? Seriously?

He just throws the "device" in the back of the car? Really? And if Chloe was going to steal it when she "has to pee" wouldn't she have been a little more subtle and stealthy?

The moronic weasel Mark was so jealous of Jack and (shudder) Audrey that he tells the Russians how to find him in the middle of the operation to recover the "device" and save the world?

Believable.

So now we not only have the Boris & Natasha subplot but the return of the Chinese subplot?

I'm not sure Dave could drink enough in all of Rio to make this week's episode palatable.

Best line ever: "Immunity is not on the table but your HAND is!"

At least the Chinese guy got to do some thigh shooting even if Jack didn't.

And doesn't Chloe get it? They're going to kill you anyway. You NEVER give the Chinese subplot the power they want.

oops - Adrian, not Aidan.

Good point, Steve. I noticed that too. Half of London seemed to be on the escalators in Liverpool Street Station. Yet, did you notice that the train Adrian & Chloe got into was nearly empty?

As soon as Kate walked into the interrogation room followed by Jack I called out "Good Cop - Bad Cop" but it's understandable Steve didn't get it because who would expect Jack to play the good cop?

Let's hope Audrey shoots Mark in the thigh (or higher IYKWIM) next week.

Jeff, good catch! I missed the nearly empty train car.

Okay, so this morning I found out Judy lost the device and somebody messed with the Override Program and there is a MOLE on Dave's blog.

All our comments from last night have been moved by the Russians to last week's blog entry and the Amazing Steve was kidnapped by the Chinese back here to hack back in. Will the torpedoes hit the Belgium Satanists in time?

//putting on Chloepatra eyeliner today because we all want to support the World Cup game.

I've never seen this. Is it like a soap opera or something???

Welcome back Dave & Steve!

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