Here is where we stand:
Jack Bauer is clearly head-over-heels in love with scorching renegade CIA agent Kate Morgan, as evidenced by the fact that he took her unconscious in a car trunk to turn her over to an arms dealer as a sort of a hostess gift. This is Jack’s idea of a date.
Speaking of arms: Kate wound up being suspended by hers backward from the ceiling, in which position she was slashed with a knife and about to get literally drilled with a literal drill, leaving her no choice but to apply the Thighs of Doom to a henchperson and then finish him off by stabbing him behind her back. This woman truly is Jack’s soulmate, which probably means she is roadkill.
Speaking of which: Simone is not having a good day. After having to stab her fake boyfriend to death in the ear, THEN having her finger chiseled off by her Evil Drone Mom’s henchpersons, THEN seeing her mom execute her husband, she gets sent by her mom to kill her sister-in-law. She decides to defy her mom’s orders and warn her sister in-law-to-flee, but somehow – It’s just that kind of day! – Simone manages to stab her sister-in-law to death anyway. THEN she chases after her niece and gets hit by a double-decker bus. It’s a miracle that, while she was lying in the street, an Acme brand safe did not land on her.
Meanwhile Jack is still after Evil Drone Mom, and the Brits have temporarily taken over for the CIA in the role of Idiots Getting Everything Wrong And Trying To Stop Jack. Jack is also being pursued by the Russians. President William Devane is still going senile. Edgar is still dead.
Finally, those of you who had Steve Navarro in the Mole Pool: Congrats!
Mrs. Blog leaves tonight for Brazil, where she will be covering the World Cup; unfortunately as a result I won't be providing updates on tonight's episode. But I'm sure you folks will provide your usual trenchant commentary in the comments. And as always, be sure to stay tuned in the comments afterward for The Amazing Steve being amazing.
UPDATE: I'm checking in without knowing what is going on, because I'm not near a TV. I'm just hoping that (a) SOMETHING is going on, and (b) it does not involve Audrey.
UPDATE: Also, go Heat.
UPDATE AFTER I FINALLY SAW IT: Whoa. Awesome dronage.