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May 25, 2014

GRANDFATHERHOOD UPDATE (I PROMISE NOT TO KEEP DOING THIS)

My little boy, and his little boy.

Rob and Son

BILLIONS OF TINY FLORIDA DRIVERS' LICENSES ARE ON THE WAY

Fruit flies show mark of intelligence in thinking before they act, study suggests

(Thanks to Jay Brandes, who says, "Making them more advanced than college men.")

SPECIAL RECIPE

Fast food firm KFC has suspended a Cardiff employee over a social media site posting claiming a customer’s order had been laced with pubic hair.

(Thanks to Ryan Jentzsch)

MEN IN ACTION

Man strips naked outside White House

Man moons police after standoff

Portland Police Arrest Naked Man Playing a Violin

Naked man carrying red roses jumps into NYC river

(Thanks to Charles Cates, Unholy Slacker and Jeff Meyerson)

IMAGINE THE GROOMING

There’s a Tarantula Version of the Westminster Dog Show

(Thanks to Jon Harris)

LEXINGTON AVENUE

DSCF1793

May 24, 2014

SO IF YOU'RE LUCKY, THERE COMES A TIME IN YOUR LIFE WHEN YOU HOLD YOUR FIRST GRANDCHILD FOR THE FIRST TIME

It's a pretty great moment.

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A FLORIDA LICENSE

He already has one.

(Thanks to anonymous)

JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT ARTISTS COULDN'T GET ANY ARTIER

A Norwegian conceptual artist boiled his own hip bone on "a whim" and then ate the flesh with some potato gratin and a glass of wine. According to the artist, the meat tasted like "wild sheep".

(Thanks to Joe in Japan)

DOES THAT INCLUDE LAUGHTER?

Expressive hat defends wearer from undesirable actions

Sanglihat

(Thanks to Charles Cates)

May 23, 2014

DON'T THEY TEACH THESE KIDS *ANYTHING??*

A Swedish teen has been convicted for sending pictures of his genitals to classmates via a fake Facebook account. His victims recognized the social-media flasher's distinctive wallpaper, visible in the background.

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

FLORIDA: STATE OF ROMANCE

A Pompano Beach firefighter was arrested in Palm Beach County after a night of boozing and foreplay with another man led her to open fire at him, deputies said.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

IN THAT CASE, SIR, YOU ARE FREE TO GO

A 24-year-old Bremerton man who was arrested Wednesday after being spotted driving without pants told a State Patrol trooper he had recently received a body wax.

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)

YET ANOTHER DEADLY WEAPON THAT SHOULD NOT BE IN CIVILIAN HANDS

Woman attacks boyfriend with family cat, deputies say

(Thanks to Horace LaBadie)

SURE IT IS!

South Korea introduces women-only parking spaces which are longer and wider (but says it's for safety, not because of their reversing skills)

(Thanks to Jim Kenaston)

THIS IS EXACTLY WHY WE KEEP OUR YACHT ON LAND, WHERE IT BELONGS

New video of yacht launch that went wrong in Anacortes

(Thanks to B'game)

IF YOU CAN MAKE IT THERE, YOU'LL PROBABLY HAVE TO FLUSH A COUPLE OF TIMES

NYC launching low-flow toilets program

(Thanks to Chuck)

MEANWHILE, MILLIONS OF SQUIRRELS RUN FREE

Boulder DA seeks to exclude evidence Mapleton elk engaged in 'bad conduct' before being shot

(Thanks to Claire Martin)

NEWS FROM THE GRANDFATHERHOOD FRONT

Dylan Maxwell Barry, age 3 days, has left the hospital and is now at home, where he met Petey the Dog. Petey the Dog is thinking: "What the HELL?"

IMG_7639

ALERT THE NOBEL JUDGES

New Japanese cookie claims to make breasts larger

(Thanks to DaninTustin and Ralph)

ONE BY ONE THEY ARE STRIPPING AWAY OUR FUNDAMENTAL HUMAN RIGHTS

Novato hiker deemed unacceptably distant from his pants

(Thanks to S Ha)

DUH

A recent study led by Dr. Ayelet Fishbach of the University of Chicago's Booth School of Business indicates that children who are told certain foods will make them stronger, smarter or taller are less likely to want to eat them.

(Thanks to The Perts)

FATHER'S DAY IS COMING

Legendary Metrodome bathroom troughs sold at auction

(Thanks to Art Kraus)

THERE IS NO GOOD REASON FOR THOSE THINGS TO BE IN CIVILIAN HANDS

Police looking for man who allegedly used fudge bar in attack on ice cream man

(Thanks to Chris Knight)

May 22, 2014

GET THAT NOBEL PRIZE READY

World's First Drinkable Sunscreen Introduced

(Thanks to Bill Hudgins)

WE'RE SURE THERE'S A PERFECTLY INNOCENT EXPLANATION

Australia alleges smuggler had bird eggs in pants

(Thanks to Bill Hudgins)

THAT'S THE ONLY WAY WE'D DO IT

Authorities in south-central Idaho say a 30-year-old South Carolina BASE jumper who successfully parachuted into the Snake River Canyon had to be rescued because he was too intoxicated to walk out on his own.

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)

WE SAW THEM OPEN FOR THE LOVIN' SPOONFUL

A Gargantuan Field of Space Dirt Is Coming Our Way

(Thanks to The Perts)

WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?

Chuck E. Cheese to Strap Oculus Rift Headsets on to Children's Tiny Heads

(Thanks to funny man)

STRUMPDATE

Here's a summer-reading roundup in the New York Times (a famous newspaper) with some nice words about You Can Date Boys When You're Forty, which by the way is for sale, which is good because DAD WANTS IT FOR FATHER'S DAY INSTEAD OF THIS, OR GOD FORBID THIS.

IT'S A MIRACLE

Brain implant turned man into passionate Johnny Cash fan

(Thanks to PirateBoy)

"BEEZIN'"

Teenagers are reportedly putting Burt's Bees lip balm on their eyelids to enhance their overall inebriated experience.

These kids today.

(Thanks to The Perts)

HE WAS HIGH, ALL RIGHT

Woman's car attacked by self-identified 'high elf' battling evil

(Thanks to Rob Simbeck)

WEATHER ADVISORY:

RUN.

Day1probotlk_1630_wind

(Thanks to Ralph)

FRANCE ON HIGH ALERT

Billions of caterpillars eating their way across Wash. state

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)

MEOW, DUDE

New Zealand cat steals bag of weed, brings it home to owner

(Thanks to Charles Cates)

THE NEW NAME IS PERV U.

Japan's Kinki University changes its name due to awkward English meaning

(Thanks to Ralph)

INTERACTVE DESIGNER OF THE WEEK

Unfortunately our strict policy prohibits us from presenting the Interactive Designer of the Week.

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

AND THE SO-CALLED 'DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE' DOES NOTHING

People are upset that the Beer Bacon Music festival wasn't really all-you-can-eat.

(Thanks to Ralph)

IF YOU CAN MAKE IT THERE, TAKE EAR PLUGS

A Subway Car Full of Loud Kids Playing Recorders

(Thanks to Suzie Q. Wacvet)

BE THERE...

...or be square.

THIS JUST IN

Yes, the fish trophy looks EXACTLY like a penis

(Thanks to DaninTustin)

THEY SAID 'COURT STAFF' HEH HEH HEH

Italian murder trial stopped after judge spots court staff having sex

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson and Jon Harris)

HEY, BETTER THAT THAN JUSTIN BIEBER

Hamsters' butts are all the rage in Japan.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

TERRORISM UPDATE

Pet squirrel escapes and attacks neighbor

(Thanks to Jay Brandes and funny man)

May 21, 2014

WHAT'S THAT SMELL?

Levi CEO's jeans go unwashed for year

THIS ALSO HAPPENS FAR TOO OFTEN

Crocodile Injured by Falling Accountant

(Thanks to Charles Cates)

THIS IS WHY IT'S BETTER TO HAUL DEAD BEES

Big Rig Hauling Live Bees Overturns on I-95

(Thanks to The Perts)

LE OOPS

The French train operator SNCF has discovered that 2,000 new trains it ordered at a cost of 15bn euros ($20.5bn; £12.1bn) are too wide for many regional platforms.

(Thanks to wiredog)

IT'S NOT SO GREAT FOR MOTORISTS, EITHER

South Florida deadly for pedestrians

 
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