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April 11, 2014

THEY WERE IMMEDIATELY AWARDED FLORIDA DRIVERS' LICENSES

Chimpanzees escape Kansas City Zoo exhibit by using a tree branch

(Thanks to Jon Harris)

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"Smarter than a tree branch, dumber than a cookie."

Send them to Washington!! They're more intelligent than Congress.

Chimps can climb trees? Who knew?

Caesar !

I'm guessing they shaped the tree branch to look like a gun and made their escape that way.

Given the problems the Kansas City Zoo has had the past few years with riots, shootings and flash mobs, I'm surprised more of the animals haven't tried to escape...

Who was outsmarted? The chimps got a day off and a cookie by using a tree branch. When was the last time a zoo worker pulled that one off?

I just saw one of the chimps driving down interstate 75 with a sign that said "beach of bust"

Chimpanzees are able to use tools and facilitate egress?

Whom is the actual "dumb animal" in this scenario?

Primate change.

The bad news is that they are locked up without trial for a charge they can't understand and aren't guilty of.
The good news is that they can take a nap without worrying about those pesky lions.

Executive, Legislative, Judicial and Simian?

Let's offer them an olive branch, or even a branch office, before they take over.

Chimps can drive as well as humans, except that, like certain humans, they are completely literal-minded and will stop on red even with a truck bearing down on them or pull out on green even if there's traffic. They do a great job signaling turns, though. Right turn, Clyde.

Did they do this while texting?

Chimp social climbing?

Soon to be a new reality show, "the real Chimpanzees of Kansas City."

This may be the theme song!

Chimps escaped? Now who will type Shakespeare?

As God is my witness, I didn't know chimpanzees could climb!

They heard Letterman's job was open...

But hey, I am fairly certain Jabba the Rush-Limbaugh could not pull this off, unless he has some nice pills and small brown boys to chase.

Chimps can drive as well as humans, except that, like certain humans, they are completely literal-minded and will stop on red even with a truck bearing down on them or pull out on green even if there's traffic. They do a great job signaling turns, though. Right turn, Clyde.

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