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April 28, 2014

THERE IS NO REASON TO GO ON LIVING

The blood preserved in the preserved relic pumpkin did not belong to Louis XVI

(Thanks to Charles Cates)

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You're my .. brown-eyed gourd

The problem was that they stored the pumpkin in a Wall Street bad guy - Gordon Gecko

Another of life's lingering mysteries solved.

I can sleep easily tonight.

I have doubts about the analysis if they can't tell the difference between a gourd (probably Lagenaria siceraria) and a pumpkin (Cucurbita pepo). Pumpkins deteriorate pretty quickly, as we all find out in early November.

No biggie -- I have his head preserved in a giant avocado.

I saw Smashing Pumpkins warming up for Queens of the Stone Age back in '98. Helluva show.

Dagnab! Who are you callin' a gourd head?

That totally validates the rumor that Louie and Elvis are alive and well and running a donut shop in Alpharetta, Georgia.

'Tis a far, far butternut I go to.

DNA has validated an old adage:

"Son, you only think you know who your daddy was."

Was he a Roundhead? Cause it sort of looks...it's a pumpkin?

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